Changing Ways
by CiaoSenpai
Summary: Kankri meets a stranger in the comic book store in town, but what he never realized is how much that stranger would change his life forever. This story will not be over until stated.
1. Stranger

Kankri ==

You plopped down on the sofa and looked around at your tidy hive, feeling bored and drained like you usually did at the end of the day. You had come to the conclusion that your life was stale, it was no longer filled with new events or anything exciting. Although, the only thing that fueled your day was your interest in almost anything from a knowledgeable point of view. You were intrigued by facts that no one else bothered to learn about, or things that they simply overlooked.

You sat up a bit at the sound of your phone going off, at first you decided to ignore it, but after a couple seconds of a mental battle you unlocked your phone and checked your messages.

It was Porrim. Her message consisted of the usual request to spend time with you.

 _-Hey Kankri, there's a sale at the comic book store tomorrow, if you want to come with me._

Well, you couldn't resist the comic book store, your interest in cultures on earth seemed to fuel your addiction for what is most commonly known as _Manga._ Porrim said that I was most likely an otaku, but I refused to accept the fact that I was addicted to something as unbearably simple as a comic book.

You agreed to go, and put down your phone and went to bed since it was already one in the morning. You slid your boxers off and happily cuddled into the fluffy comforter on your bed. You went to sleep fast, you must've been tired.

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You met Porrim at the comic book store that was far away from your house like everything else was. You hated the city.

"Hey Kankri, I'm going to go look around in the back of the store, if you need me I'll be there."

You started to lecture her about how dangerous it is to be alone in the city, then you realized that you were in a comic book store filled with people mostly interested in the obvious _comic books you stupid slut._

"Never mind," you said as you waved her off and got a few manga's randomly off the shelf.

You weren't really reading them because you liked them, at least you hoped that wasn't the reason you couldn't stop buying them. You sat down at one of the café-like tables they had sitting at the front of the store. You started to flip to a random page in the comic book at the top of your stack. You had collected 5 from the shelf and as you were looking through the second one you felt as if someone was watching you.

After a few minutes of this eerie feeling you started to look around to see if anyone was actually staring at you. To your surprise you had discovered that another troll like yourself was the culprit of your sixth sense going off. As expected, he had looked away and hid his face in the book he was holding when he saw you looking at him. He had two scars above his right eye and large angular horns poking out from the top of the book. You noticed instantly that he was aquatic. You felt yourself get a bit excited, for you were currently doing deep research in aquatic trolls like him, you assumed he was male because of his masculine features that nobody could deny.

There was something strange about him, after a few seconds of pondering you finally realized that it was his style, and his slicked back hair. You thought he looked like a total jerk that jumped straight out of the 1950's. He was wearing a black leather jacket that you thought fit his appearance, black boots that some might consider _goth_ , skinny jeans and a white shirt with something on it that you couldn't make out because of the table.

You realized that he no longer was acting shy, and he was now looking at you with white eyes. You felt intimidated when you saw his clearly emotionless expression, however there was a very slight amount of purple blush on his cheeks. You looked away and thought nothing of the whole thing and went back to looking at your manga's.

You were starting to forget about the encounter until you saw him start to walk over to you out of the corner of your eye. You started to get nervous when he sat down at the same table as you. He said nothing and reopened the book that he was looking at. You started to relax until you heard him close his book abruptly, his foot was bouncing as if he was impatient.

"I don't even like manga…" his voice was smooth just like you expected, he lowered his head when he spoke.

"Then why are you here?" You looked up from your book, a bit confused.

He had an unlit cigarette at the corner of his mouth, he paused and thought for a bit.

"I work across the street at the tattoo parlor. I've seen you come here often and I thought you were a cutie, so I decided to try and find a way to talk to you."

You noticed he blushed a bit harder as he said this. Maybe he wasn't so much of a jerk as you thought. You turned back to your book, you didn't want him to see your candy red cheeks. You didn't want him to know what blood color you had… you were scared he might hurt you or call you a freak like everyone else that first finds out.

He must've seen the worry in my eyes. He reached for your book and ripped it out your grasp before you could do anything about it. He had to have known what your blood color was. At first he looked surprised but then smiled softly as if to say it was okay. You pulled your red turtle neck up over your nose in hopes of hiding most of your face.

"You look cute like that," he said as if was nothing. "My name is Cronus…" He smiled weakly. You couldn't help but realize that he actually wanted to get to know you.

"I'm Kankri…"

He nodded and looked up a bit as if he was tossing your name around in his head, testing it out.

"Kankri, I really love that name," You saw him smile at you, you couldn't help but notice the small glimpses of sadness you were seeing in his eyes every now and then. He looked at his watch. "I have to go soon, chief…" You listened to him sigh as if the thought of him leaving was disastrous to him, you felt pity for him. He just met you after all, and he seemed to already be flushed for you. You watched him curiously as he searched his messenger bag for something. He pulled out a notebook and a pen and scribbled down something and handed you the paper.

"Don't look at it until I leave," He said as he left the comic book store without turning back once to look at you.

You examined the paper to find his number written neatly at the top. You smiled softly, his handwriting was nice, even though it was just numbers.

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Awhile after he left the store you just lost interest in the manga's you had picked up, and told Porrim you were headed back home.

On the way home you couldn't help but think about Cronus. You weren't flushed for him yet, as you weren't so easily swept off your feet. He did however interest you enough to the point that you decided to text him later that afternoon.

 _-Hey.. Cronus, its Kankri…_

 _-Hey Kankri, it's a little late, I would expect you to be in bed._

 _-I always stay up this late, I like the night time better. Why are you up?_

 _-Don't worry about it, just having some anxiety over some personal stuff… Hey, you think maybe we could go on a date…?_

You thought for a moment, your life was boring anyway. On the other hand, you hated being touched and you know how easily upset you can get. You decide that was something for him to worry about if he was really getting flushed for you.

 _-Sure, that's okay with me_

You looked down at your phone, it took him more than 15 minutes to respond this time.

 _-Hey… sorry for the late response. And… really? Wow! Thanks, I'll text you tomorrow with details If that's okay.._

 _-Also, Just wanted to say goodnight, and I'll just tell you now instead of tomorrow. Was wondering if Saturday is okay._

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You woke up the next morning to Cronus's text. You texted him back saying that Saturday was fine.

The next couple of days went by slow for some reason. You gave Cronus your address on Friday and told him that you two should make plans when he got there.

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It was finally Saturday. For some reason you were excited to see Cronus again, even if you two knew almost nothing about each other. You heard a knock at the door, you were in the middle of cooking breakfast so you hastily opened the door and ran back to the stove before something had the chance to burn.

You didn't notice how tired Cronus looked until you went into the dining room and saw him staring off into space.

"Cronus…?"

He seemed to snap back to reality at your voice. He smiled, his tired look almost going away completely.

"Want some breakfast?" You asked before going back into the kitchen.

"No thank you, I already had breakfast," he smiled softly and blushed a bit, you noticed that he was still wearing the leather jacket from yesterday, just different pants and a different shirt.

"Where do you want to go today anyway?"

"Anywhere is fine as long as I get to go on that date with you…"

"Well, I am currently researching aquatic trolls, I'd like to have our date here if it's fine with you. I'd like to take a look at your anatomy, if you don't mind"

"S-Sure, that's f-fine," Cronus was starting to look nervous despite the confident personality that you could already tell he had.

You decided that his reaction was nothing to worry about. After eating breakfast you pulled out your research journal where you kept your notes of your current points of study. In total you had 11, counting the one you had in your hands.

"Ready Cronus?"

He nodded, seeming like he was back to his normal attitude.

You started to examine the fins located on the sides of his face where a land troll's ears would be, you took note of the coloring and how they connected to the rest of his head. You took a look at his gills that were on the sides of his neck, since he wasn't underwater he was breathing normally. Instead you also took note of the color and anatomy of them. You stopped writing for a second as you noticed that his cheeks were a deep purple. He was blushing

You felt yourself start to blush as well and hid your face in the long neck of the red sweater that you always seemed to wear. You felt a hand on your cheek, you cast your gaze up to see Cronus looking at you with a look that no one had ever given you before. You could see the love in his eyes that burned brightly for you. How could he have gotten so attached to you so quickly?

You opened your mouth a bit but before you could speak he had his face in your neck, he pulled the sweater down from your face as he nuzzled into your skin.

You felt your heart skip a beat, you didn't like being touched. You didn't even really like romance, but this time felt different. So far you were okay with Cronus making contact with your skin. This was the first time you had ever felt this way before, and it caught you off guard.

"You're really cute, chief…" His voice was muffled from being buried in your neck.

You had come to the conclusion that he had a knack for calling people _"chief"_ to you it felt like a nickname he must've used often.

You blushed at his words and stayed quiet, you took this opportunity to examine the fins on his face more, but you got distracted when you remembered how different his horns were than yours. You placed both your hands on them and you felt his body stiffen up.

In the moment you had forgotten that horns usually can have erotic feeling in them, as they are not made of bone like you would find in animals on earth.

You could feel heat quickly rushing into his cheeks.

"Cronus I'm sorry, I… forgot that you had feeling there for a moment…"

He didn't say anything. It was almost as if that was the first time he had gotten touched, and you felt a bit embarrassed.

"It's okay Kankri… I've just never been touched before is all…" He smiled softly and I could feel him eyeing my lips, "I've never been kissed either," he laughed softly after he finished confessing to me.

You looked into his eyes, "You haven't?" You were having a hard time believing what he was saying because of how he acted and looked.

He put a hand nervously on the back of his neck, "Never… I guess if I think about it, I've been alone most of my life."

You started to feel bad for him, but an idea popped up in your head. "I know you don't know me that well Cronus, but I think I want to change that… I get lonely too, even though I have friends it can get really boring here in this hive all by myself. I'm actually celibacy, but I think that my old ways of living is getting a bit too… lonely for me."

Cronus smiled at this and hugged you tight, you could tell that your words made him happy.

"Hey Kankri," I saw him blush hard as his eyes kept locked on my lips. "You think we could—"

You didn't let him finish his sentence, and you kissed him softly, it was just a peck but you could already feel your face heating up. You stiffened up when he gently grabbed your chin, for a few seconds he looked into your eyes. You felt him lean in and kiss you again, this time it lasted longer and it felt deeper, you felt him pull away from your lips.

"S-sorry chief, I just really like your lips or some reason," you watched as he took his jacket off.

He must've been really flushed for you because his arms were a light shade of violet. It seemed that his blush had spread from his cheeks to his arms. You were still wearing the candy red sweater that you always did. It was getting incredibly hot, and you tugged a bit at the turtle neck. Cronus must've noticed that you were getting overheated in your sweater, because he quickly pulled it off of you before you could protest.

Your face turned completely red as you looked down at your lap, you could feel your bulge twitching a bit, but thankfully you were wearing thick jeans. You dared not to look at Cronus, but you could feel your heart beating hard in your chest almost as if it was trying to break out of your ribcage.

"Kankri… You said you don't know much about me. Well, I own a tattoo shop and I write songs and play guitar when I get lonely or bored, I don't have many close friends and my family is back on our home world. Its okay that I don't know much about you, I guess I just fell hard for you when I wasn't looking. I don't want to sound like a creeper chief, but sometimes I watched you read from my tattoo shop… I guess there was something different about you." Cronus placed his head on your chest, listening to your heart.

You didn't have anything to say, you just laid a hand gently on one of his horns, his body stiffened up in response to this. You hadn't forgotten what would happen when you touched them this time and he looked up at you, a bit confused.

"Kankri—"

"I know," you watched as his blush spread over his face and the bridge of his nose. After a while of being shirtless, you felt comfortable around him.

"Cronus, will you be my matesprit?"


	2. The Past is Like a Bus

Cronus == Think about how gay you are and go to work, fuckass.

That night you had stayed over Kankri's hive. He had asked you to be his matesprit and of course you said yes.

You smiled softly as you walked home from his house early in the morning before he even woke up. You were happy to leave a note for him, so that he would know that you were going back home. You felt a bit bad so you cooked him breakfast before your departure.

You took out a pack of cigarettes out of your pocket and pulled one out before stowing it away again in your pocket. You'd never in your life lit and smoked one, you just thought they were cool.

After a few minutes of walking you had reached your house. You didn't necessarily own a hive since your old home was in the ocean, long forgotten. Thankfully though you had managed to find a beach cottage that had a beach for its front yard.

Whenever you had been away from your home for a while and returned back, you could tell that your house smelled like _sandy waves_ which you felt fit the scent well. However, you wondered if you smelled like that too. The real question is, was it the house that made you smell like it, or you that made the house smell like you?

You sighed, setting your messenger bag down beside the leather couch in the living room. Before you left Kankri's, you had also given him your address. You wondered if that was a good idea but you shrugged it off.

You had work in a few hours and decided to kill your time playing the guitar and drawing out a few tattoo ideas. What would a tattoo artist be without their own tattoos? You had a long strip of grayscale, uncolored waves going from slightly below your hip, all the way up to just below your shoulder. You also had a small ancient looking symbol inked into the underside of your foot, it was there for the purpose of it being easily hidden.

You put down your hobbies where they belonged and headed off to work, wondering what kind of crazy inking you would do to someone today. Off you went, listening to _Wonderwall_ on the radio.

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Kankri == Text Cronus and study like the nerd you are.

You woke up to the note Cronus left you, surprised when you saw his address neatly written below the majority of the letter. You blushed a bit, his handwriting was superb, but then you realized that it must've been because he was a tattoo artist. Whatever reason you didn't care, it didn't change the fact that it was neat enough to be a font on your computer.

You yawned, then got up to shower and get dressed. You too had a job, maybe it was a little bit less exciting but you did make a good deal of money. All you had to do was research a given topic from your company, who employed only two scientists from each country. You were _extremely_ lucky that you got in. The part you liked the most is that you got to learn, and stay at home. _Fuck the city._ You thought, before scolding yourself for mentally cursing.

You decided to jot down a bit more about the anatomy that you found on Cronus, you didn't see him without his shirt or pants on and you weren't sure if you were going to anytime soon.

Your phone went off.

 _-Hey chief, we should go out to the café in town for a… more formal date, you know? I was really happy spending time with you yesterday."_

You read his text and quickly responded.

 _-That sounds fine Cronus. I'm not busy Wednesday if that's okay with you._

You hate the city, but sometimes it was an okay place to be. You sat down your phone and resumed furiously writing in your journal, then you picked up another, having an idea on one of your old research topics. Today was going to be a long day.

Cronus == Get a weird phone call.

You texted Kankri back saying that Wednesday sounded fine. You were at work now and your phone went off again, at first you thought it was a text but somebody was calling you. You picked up the phone, it being an unfamiliar number. Despite this, you were curious and answered anyway.

"'Ello?"

There was silence at first on the other line.

"Helloo?"

"Cronus, you don't deserve to be near the ocean. If I find out you've been there, I'll kill you."

You tensed up a bit, the person on the other end was using a voice modifier. You chuckled nervously, thinking it was a joke.

"I'm not joking, watch your back, _chief_."

The other end went silent, the only company that you had now was a long eerie beep that follows after every call that gets hung up. You started to worry. They sounded serious, you tried to distract yourself from what just happened. You were confused at why someone would want you dead because of something as simple as that, then it hit you.

Holy shit, you remembered.

Holy fuck.

You fell to the floor, gasping. You felt like your chest was getting tight and you couldn't breathe.

Cronus == Have a childhood flashback.

You were 13 when it started happening.

You started hating your body, the fins, your blood color, and how rich your family was. You had started to grow a hate for yourself for as early as you can remember.

It was December 25th, Christmas. You weren't as religious as your family but you still enjoyed the holidays, the cold weather. In the winter you actually had an excuse to wear clothing that covered all your battle wounds. Not from a real battle, no. It was much deeper than that. Your mind was starting to fight you, and you were trying to fight it back.

Back to Christmas, you had asked your rather rich family if you could go to the beach, _alone_ for your Christmas present. They never really treated you well and you were wrong to expect they would be okay with that. You rarely asked for anything, because they said you were a burden. Every time you ate, every time you asked for medicine when you were sick, you were always a problem.

That very day, they were yelling at you, and you were crying harder than you ever have before. They had told you that you weren't meant to be born, that you blossomed from a warm summer's night one afternoon when they were drunk. I guess that broke you, because that's when it all started.

Your body dysphoria had started way before, it was there for as long as you can remember. That's why your parents disliked you, they were humiliated of you. They never took you out in public with them and they home-schooled you. Despite your hate for your body, the beach made you feel better, you learned to accept this part of you, if any. It was the only thing that gave you relief back then.

When they discovered that you were abusing yourself at 16, they made you go through a long, often horrible process of _conversion therapy._ It was banned after the damage was already done to you. Afterwards your parents had your memory faded away with more therapy that changes who you are in the head, and how you feel on the inside.

For some reason that phone call triggered you, and you remembered the whole process of your life again. Yet, you also remembered the replacement story your parents and "therapist" had conjured up. Your cover story was "You were a normal boy who lived in a rich family that loved you very much…" and so on. They trained you to be a normal boy.

You remembered fighting it, you didn't want to lose who you were, and your family always told you the scars were from childhood a _ccidents_ like getting your fin caught in the car door and stuff.

Holy shit Cronus, you believed them. You believed the lies. Your whole past that you thought was true… was also a lie. You also assumed the phone call that you got in college about your parents being in a car accident was a lie too, but why would they just up and call you? Was it even them?

Cronus == Don't have a panic attack and figure out what to do.

You tried to calm your breathing, it helped a bit when you thought of Kankri. You reached for your phone and texted him from the floor with shaky hands.

 _-Kankri, I really need to come over_ _ **now**_ _._

 _-I'm a bit busy at the moment, what do you need Cronus?_

 _-I just need to be there, please…_

 _-But why…?_

 _-Just please chief…_

Kankri == Tell Cronus he can come over, you guess.

 _-Fine, I'm just bust with research so…_

 _-That's okay Kankri, sorry about this._

You put your phone down, what could have possibly been so important. You were actually starting to get infuriated. Something must've triggered you. You laughed a bit because your friends always complained about you complaining how _triggered_ you were at times.

Whatever, he can just come here, get bored and leave. About 15 minutes later you heard a knock at the door. You slowly got up out your seat, taking your time as you walked down the hallway. When you opened the door you were a bit shocked, his face looked very pale and he was shaking. Not to mention his breathing was a bit off.

"I go to the beach almost every day, I can't go now… It makes me feel less lonely and—"

You had silenced him by putting a hand over his mouth, which is ironic because that would usually happen to you instead.

"Don't be stupid, of course you can go to the beach."

You heard him sigh as if he had given up trying to explain whatever… this… was to you. You stepped back, deciding that how he looked was enough to assure you that he was stressed about something. You went to turn away until you saw purple tears streaming his cheeks, his face was dark and there were bags under his eyes like he had been hit with a truck.

You softened a bit, feeling bad that you had even thought about ignoring him so he would go away.

"Cronus," you placed a hand on his shoulder, then pulled him into a hug which made him cry harder. He was still quiet though, and you guessed he didn't make noise when he cried. "What happened…"

He pulled back a bit at this, hiding his face in a purple and black scarf he was wearing. The tears rolling down his cheeks intermingled into the purple, and vanished at the black parts of the scarf.

"Don't worry about it, chief. I'll be okay, just forget that I came here today. Forget what I said…" He turned around and started to walk away, something inside you snapped and you seized his wrist, he froze in his gait.

"Please tell me so I can try and make it better…" You yank him back inside, but he follows you. It's not like you could force him to come inside anyway. You were much too small and scrawny.

You pulled him, er, more like helped him walk over to the sofa, where you gestured for him to sit down. He was looking down at his boots.

"I won't tell you, not yet. I don't want to put anything like this on you Kan."

He was already giving you nicknames. You usually hated them, but to your surprise you didn't mind.

"You will be putting something on me if you don't tell me, Cronus. You look like you were hit by a bus."

"More like the past…" You heard him murmur softly, but you decided not to respond. You quickly picked up your phone.

"W- what are you doing…?"

"Calling some of my friends over to help try and cheer you up. After that, you are telling me what's wrong weather you like it or not, Cronus."

"But I—"

"You what Cronus?"

"I don't know how to make friends, chief…"

You went over to him and hugged him tight, you felt bad for him. You found yourself pitying over a troll that was considered to be royalty because of his purple blood. Which surprised you because it was usually the other way around.

"Then I'll show you how Cronus,"

He looked up at you slowly, but the tears didn't stop "Promise?"

"I promise."


	3. Rain

Kankri == Call all your friends over so you can try and cheer Cronus up.

As much as you hated having all your friends in one place, you called each and every one of them. The responses were mixed, they were either, "Hell yeah, we'll help you, just don't lecture me," or "Sure thing Kan." Of course all of the responses weren't these exact two things, but you get the picture _yes you, the person reading this fanfic._

You looked over at Cronus who was huddled up under the mountain of towels you had dumped on him, at first he was confused, but then he realized they had just come out the dryer. They were incredibly warm and when you hugged Cronus earlier, he was incredibly cold.

You had gone to fix him some tea, because tea helped everything right? _You know that's right._ When you came back he was asleep in the pile, his head cocked back and leaning against the sofa cushion. You smiled softly when you saw some translucent drool rolling down the side of his cheek. You decided not to wake him, taking note of the bags under his eyes.

You were somewhat caught in a daydream as you watched him sleep _like a creepy little fuck but you couldn't help how cute he was._ This little dream was broken when you heard a parade of knocks at the door.

Shit. Cronus was still asleep and you opened the door holding the tea you had made him, steam rising from the cup.

"Cronus is aslee—"

They had all barged in, and by all you mean; Porrim, Muelin, Gamezee, Tavros, Sollux, and your pissy little cousin Karkat.

They all pooled into your living room, and were already gathered around Cronus, who you know would be scared shitless when he woke up.

"Give him some space he fell asleep," you push them back a bit as your crouch down beside your sleeping matesprit, which they knew nothing about.

"Holy mother fucker he's so cute," that was Gamzee.

Everyone else nodded and hummed in agreement.

You went to put a hand on his shoulder, but you realized you didn't have to wake him up, which made you feel better because you already had felt guilty for having to be the one disturbing his sleep.

You saw him yawn and stretch, still being blissfully unaware of all the people crowded into your hive.

Cronus == Get woken up by lots of weird trolls.

Holy god you thought you were going to die when you woke up. Kankri must've not realized that you were extremely shy, you wiped the drool off you face when you felt it running down your chin. _Pull yourself together_ you thought in your head and you figured that it sounded like a good plan. Everyone was looking at you, and you felt exposed. Not to mention you were very stressed and tired.

"I'm Cronus, w-what's your name… names?" You were sleepy, you felt like your eyelids were heavy and your actual eyes were burning, the only relief you got was when you closed them.

Everyone stated their name and you decided that you would have to sort that out later. You were too tired to think straight at the time and you started taking off your shirt, already forgetting how many people were there.

Kankri, sensing this quickly pulled your shirt down and hid his blush. "Cronus, no," he held your shirt down and you whined for a bit. Through all this your eyes were closed and you liked to have it that way. At the moment however, you didn't really have an option.

You opened your eyes a bit and blushed hard out of embarrassment. You watched as everyone took a seat, except for a pissy little mini version of Kankri.

"I'm taking some cookies from the kitchen." You watched as the little shit huffed and walked away.

"Yep, that's Karkat for ya." You saw Kankri sigh as he fiddled with his fingers.

"So Kanny, how did you find Cronus? From what I have derived, none of us have a connection to him." That was Porrim.

"He was at the comic book store and he kind of sat at the same table as me,"

You started to sink back into the towels in attempt to hide your face, you just wanted to be with Kankri right now. You had started to feel better underneath the mountain of towels until Gamzee picked you up and threw you over his shoulder. You remained limp in attempt to feel heavier as you tightened your muscles.

"Oh stop it, cheer up mother fucker."

Gamzee had started to carry you out the door and everyone followed. The group of friends had come in two different cars. Seeing where this was going, you spoke up.

"I wanna ride in the same car as Kankri."

Gamzee and the others laughed a bit.

"I can't believe your still friends with him after all the lectures he's probably given you." That was Porrim, at least you think, you were always bad with names.

"Actually, from what I recall he's never lectured me," you blinked and looked up at her as you spoke, still being slung over Gamzee's shoulder.

There was an awkward silence that polluted the air, you started to get nevous. _Shit, what did I say wrong? Why are they so quiet?_ You smiled weakly, trying to reassure them. They burst out into laughter and started holding onto each other for support.

"That's a funny joke Cronus!"

"Yeah! You sounded so serious too!"

You were starting to get confused, so you looked over at Kankri who was hiding his face in the neck of his sweater. _Well that really didn't help_.

"I'm being serious, he's never lectured me, from what I remember. The past day has been really upsetting."

Gamzee threw you into the back of the truck. You looked down over the edge, seeing that Kankri couldn't get up because the truck was so jacked up off the ground. You offered a hand for him and easily pulled him up into the seat beside you. He was still trying to hide his face in his sweater. At one point you thought that his sweater would end up engulfing him into a black abyss.

You leaned close into him as Gamzee started up the truck and a few more of Kankri's friends hoped in. "Hey chief, do they know that I'm your matesprit?" You kept your voice low, he looked away, seeing that he was pouting like a little kid.

"No, they still think I'm celibacy."

You narrowed your eyes a bit and sat back, smiling, "I'm sure it'll be okay Kankri."

You looked over at him, seeing that he was considering your words. "I'll probably tell them later today."

"Tell us what?" Tavros asked. He was sitting up in the passenger seat beside Gamzee, and he had leaned back in the chair to look at Kankri.

Then it happened. Kankri started to lecture Tavros about not getting into people's business. You leaned back more into the chair, hoping that somehow it would eat you and you would teleport far away from here.

"How many times have I told you Tavros" You were only listening to snippets of what he was saying, and he went silent when you looked at him. Apparently this was big news because Tavros and Gamzee were looking at you like you were their almighty god.

"How did you even manage to do that?"

"What do you mean? I just looked at him, I didn't do shit."

"Language," that was Kankri, yesterday you disovered that he didn't like it when people cuursed.

"Sorry chief, I forgot."

Gamzee and Tavros decided not to try and figure out your 'magic trick' anymore and they started to pull out the driveway, the rest of Kankri's friends following you in a Jeep.

Kankri == Panic, because where are your friends taking you and Cronus?

"Hey Gamzee, where are we going?" You asked him, peering forward into your seat so you could better look at him.

"Well the sun is out and I thought the beach would be nice."

You jumped a bit when Cronus started to open the door of the truck, thankfully it had child safety locks on the doors.

"Cronus what are you doing?" You were starting to get worried as he pulled at the door harder, which made you realize that he wasn't thinking straight. Otherwise he would've figured out that the door wasn't going to budge.

"We can't go to the beach, we just can't. No, we can't Kankri!" He was yelling now and he sounded scared, he had given up on the door and he was now rolling down the window.

You slapped his hands away from the button that controlled the window, and made him look at you by grabbing his chin and bringing it forward to you. "I thought you loved the beach," you looked at him confused.

"I do! I just can't go okay? I told you I would tell you what happened later… We just can't go." With that he slumped in his seat and Tavros pulled his phone out to notify the others about the change of plans.

You sighed softly and relaxed a bit when you saw Cronus give up on trying to jump out a moving truck. Tavros was on the phone when it started to thunder, and the cloud went from bright and sunny to dark and gloomy.

"I thought you guys said 'the sun is out' did you not bother to look at the forecast before we left?" You were started to get agitated with everything.

"Sorry… I guess we didn't think about it." Gamzee butted into the conversation, but he still focused on driving.

"The others say that there's an aquarium in town that's open today, if that sounds good." Tavros looked back at both you and Cronus, who shrugged and said nothing.

"That's fine, thank you Tavros."

After a few minutes of a quiet car ride, aside from the soft patter of the raindrops on the car, and the occasional thunder, all of you had arrived at your destination. It was still raining and it was hard to find a parking spot close to the building entrance. You guessed that a lot of plans had gotten canceled so most of them flocked here, just like you and your friends had.

Gamzee turned the truck off when he found a spot to park and looked back at you, "looks like we'll have to run Kanny."

You sighed and looked over at Cronus, who looked like he'd rather get soaking wet then run. He was slumped up against the car door, looking out the window as if he was in a dramatic movie or something.

"Alright, let's go!" Gamzee and Tavros had opened the doors and Gamzee ran to the other side to pick Tavros up, who was handicapped and awaiting prosthetic legs from his doctor. He barely used his wheelchair since Gamzee always carried him everywhere, his arms never seemed to tire which was good, but that also meant he would beat someone senseless. There was no denying that he was in very good physical shape.

"Come on Cronus," you took his hand and dragged him across the seat. He put up no resistance as you hoped out the truck and down onto the pavement. Truth be told, you _hated_ the rain, it left such a nasty feeling on your skin which no one else seemed to complain about but you.

You started to make a run for the building, not wanting anymore raindrops to attack you, the only shelter from them was inside. Cronus kept walking, like you had expected, letting the rain coat his body and slick off his jacket. You walked beside him, not wanting him to be left behind, as much as you hated the rain you put up with it for him. It was only sprinkling anyway. Everyone else ran by you two and had made their way inside. Earlier in the truck you gave Gamzee money for both you and Cronus, whom argued a bit with you saying he could pay for himself. Eventually he caved in and gave up on convincing you to let him pay for himself.

You two had a moment alone in the rain, and you couldn't help but notice how handsome Cronus looked with water rolling down his body. "Cronus, why couldn't you go to the beach with us? I thought you loved the beach."

He smiled weakly, "I don't have time to explain everything, but if I went I would be in danger. I'll tell you what happened later." He plastered a fake smile on his face, you saw through it but you didn't want to pester him anymore. He looked stressed enough, and it probably wouldn't help if you pelted him with questions.

You nodded in agreement and Cronus opened the door for you. A ticket was shoved into you and Cronus's hands by Porrim who smiled.

"Thanks Porrim. Do you know where we are going next?"

"Well, Tavros wants to see the sharks first, you don't have to stay with us the whole time."

You nodded, letting her know that you had taken note of what she said. Despite not telling your friends about you and Cronus, you held his hand anyway. You knew that the moment they discovered he was your matesprit they would all flip their shit.

You followed your group of friends in the back, and so far none of them had noticed that you and Cronus were joined together walking hand in hand. They had all stopped at the shark tank, there was a big pane of glass that provided a clear view into the waters that the sharks lingered in. After a while the group moved on and Gamzee made some comments like, "that's one big mother fucker!" IN return you told him to watch his language like you often did when you were around him. You started to grow bored of watching the sharks and notified Porrim that you and Cronus were going elsewhere, and would meet back up around lunch.

After you were away from the group Cronus spoke up, "hey Kankri… You think I'm like those sharks? I think I'm swimming free but I'm actually just stuck in a tank?" He looked down at his feet as he walked, you squeezed his hand a bit which made him look up at you again.

"I don't think you are like that at all, Cronus. What makes you say that?"

He paused for a moment, as if thinking carefully about whether he should lie or not. "Because that's what I was doing my whole life until I met you."

You felt your face heat up and hid your blush in the neck of your sweater, this was just a thing you did to hide your blood color. Maybe this time, however it was for a different reason.

"Kankri… have you ever heard of conversion therapy?" You felt his free hand being tucked quickly into his pocket.

"Yes, it's probably more like brainwashing someone than actual therapy. It usually results in worsening depression and anxiety. Why?"

"Because chief, my parents made me go through it."

You were silent for a moment, almost in shock. When you met him a few days ago, he seemed completely normal. You knew something had happened, you just didn't know what. Whatever it was, it had left Cronus with a dark aura that seemed to follow him wherever he went. You decided that asking him anymore questions was a bad thing to do. He seemed really sensitive about the subject, as you expected anyone to be.

You took his hand tighter and started to run off into the direction of the seals, he stumbled forward a bit and ran with you.

"Kankr—"

"Just let go of the past for now, we can talk about it later. The whole point of this was to cheer you up, and that's what I'm going to do." You were determined to see him smile, or smirk, maybe even grin. You didn't care which.

Cronus == Let Kankri cheer you up.

You followed Kankri through the crowd of people, which wasn't hard considering you two were holding hands. After a minute of running you had reached the sea lion exhibit, and surprisingly no one was there.

"Cronus, I don't want you to be upset. Whatever it is that's bothering you, I'll help you fix it. I'll help you get better."

"I think it's a bit more complicated than that," you smiled a bit at him "but I'll let you, as long as you let me protect you."

"Protect me from what Cronus?"

You smiled a bit and leaned in close to his face as you spoke softly, "from anything that can hurt you." With that, you kissed him gently, his eyes were open in surprise and you pulled away and watched as he blushed, his cheeks turning a bright red.

As I watched him try to hide his face, I realized that I would have to tell him about my past, and about what happened the other day, and I had to do that soon.


	4. Burn Brighter

**Holy shit I'm so sorry about what happened when I posted this. Somehow I must've copied the html coding and pasted it into the document box without realizing it.**

Kankri == Listen to Cronus.

"Just tell me now Cronus, you know that I—"

He stopped you before you could speak anymore, he told you everything, and it was a lot to take in. You wondered if he still hated his body, and you felt like it was necessary since he had hurt himself over it.

"Cronus… do you still…"

"Yeah…"

You looked up at him since you were painfully short, and you felt really bad for him. You held his hand tight, and he seemed to be trying extremely hard to distract himself.

"Is that why you always wear jackets and scarves?"

"Yes, Kankri. I mean I like how they look but they also cover up the weird scars I always had. I had been told that they were just accidents, but now that I know what they really are, and I don't know if I can bare it."

"What do you mean you can't bare it?"

"If I had always known what my past was like, I probably wouldn't be here. Sometimes when a soul goes through so much pain, it tries to escape. That's what wanting to end your life feels like. It feels like everything that makes you special, or different… it starts seeping through the broken cracks, and eventually your life essence is coming out in too many places, and you just can't keep it together anymore."

You looked down at your feet, being extremely worried to leave him alone now.

"Come on, were going back to my house." You started to pull him along with you, but he put up resistance.

"I should just go back to my own home," he was making himself heavy by tensing up his muscles.

"That phone call you got makes me think otherwise, Cronus." You were looking at him with a blank face, you just wanted him safe. You know that he knew how unsafe it was to be alone right now. You thought for a second, "I'll let you go to your house, but I'm not letting you go alone."

He stared at you defiantly, but then his gaze softened after a few seconds, "fine." He allowed you to drag him out of the aquarium, find Porrim, and notify her that you were leaving.

"Porrim, we're leaving. Something came up, we'll take the bus home."

"Kan I thought you hated the b—"

Before she could finish her sentence, you dragged Cronus out behind you. It was still raining but that wasn't the problem right now.

Cronus == Be dragged along by Kankri.

You didn't mind the fact that Kankri was being pushy. You knew he cared, and you knew there was no way in hell he'd leave you alone right now. This scared you. What if the person on the phone knew where you lived, and he came to your house and tried to hurt you. Chances are, Kankri would get hurt too if he was there. He had practically pulled you up onto the bus, for you were dragging your feet hell bad.

You slipped an unlit cigarette into your mouth, at which the bus driver said there was no smoking. You responded with a simple, "It's a metaphor thing I do. You put the killing thing between your lips, but don't give it the chance to kill." However, Kankri nor the bus driver knew that you vaped often. Vaping wasn't that bad right? It was low in nicotine and it came in flavors. Well, maybe you did put the killing thing between your lips, and you did give it the chance to kill, but hell, at least you don't walk around smelling like smoke.

You actually used to snort crystal meth, which was the only fun you had in life. God, you used to be so lonely, and you had grown used to it by now. At this moment, you wondered why you even approached Kankri in the first place.

"Cronus, thank you for changing the way I saw the world." There was only two more people on the bus, and they were seated away from you and Kankri, it was like having a private conversation.

You looked at him questioningly, you didn't want to speak right now.

Kankri picked up on your body language, seeing that you were wondering what he meant. "I used to not let anyone in my heart, and all I seemed to care about was my research."

You looked down at your feet, seeming interested in your shoes and the floor they were placed on. You sighed softly, not because you were annoyed or anything, but just because you were stressed. Kankri stopped talking and looked out the window, he seemed to be thinking hard about the current moment.

You laid your head on is shoulder, and buried your face in the long neck of his sweater, at first he flinched, but he relaxed when he looked down at your face. You had gone to sleep, because well, you hadn't slept in two days.

Kankri == Let Cronus sleep on you.

Cronus had fallen asleep on your shoulder, and a little bit of translucent violet drool was running down the side of his cheek. You took the unlit cigarette out of his mouth before it fell. You stared at it and put it between your lips and puffed up your shoulders, pretending to be Cronus. This made you smile, but you dropped the act after a few seconds, placing the cigarette in the trashcan near you, since you were close to the front of the bus. You sighed, almost like Cronus had, and put your arm around him gently, being careful not to awaken him. After 15 minutes of sitting on the bus, thinking about how you could help him feel better, you arrived to a pretty good sized house, but it was so secluded and lonely looking. You woke him up, because you obviously couldn't carry him into his house. You noticed how tired he was when he started to stumble over his own feet. You went to open the door, when you noticed it was locked. You looked up at him, expecting a pair of keys. He slowly pulled some out his pocket and handed them to you, one was his house key, his car key, and one for his tattoo shop. You figured the gold one was the key to the house because the doorknob was the same color. You carefully unlocked his door as the aroma of salt and sand hit you in the face, you always imagined that his house would smell like this. You didn't mind, it smelt like him, or he smelt like his house, no one really knew what came first.

"Cronus, your house is kinda big… where's your bedroom?"

He started to mumble something to you, but you couldn't make out what he was trying to say. "Speak up, your mumbling."

"I sleep in all three bedrooms…" He pointed in a few direcetions, one bedroom was completely black, one white, and the other violet.

You took him to the violet one because it matched his blush, and you thought that it fit him well. He was so weak that he ended up half on the bed and half off, you tried everything you could to get him on the bed all the way, and succeeded only when he woke up. You sighed as he fell asleep extremely fast, and it left you wondering if it was eve possible to be so tired. You had come to the conclusion that yes, it was possible because you too had felt that tired.

You decided that it was a good idea to bring one of your journals and a pen in case you saw anything on aquatic trolls in the aquarium, which wasn't much of a help. However, you did notice something about Cronus. Whenever he was extremely upset, it would rain, but it only rained in the areas around him. The whole city was drenched today, and as of now it was sunny, the rain had completely stopped when he fell asleep. There had been rumors in the science community that aquatic trolls sometimes had the power to accidently control the weather because of their emotions.

This didn't bother you. If it rained, it rained, if it was sunny, it was sunny. If a hurricane came and flooded your yard, or a tornado ripped up stop signs from the ground, you would be okay with that. After a few minutes of thinking about Cronus and the weather, you got up and decided he wouldn't mind it if you explored his house. You normally are very against getting into other's business, but something was different this time. To you it seemed like the more time you spent with Cronus, the more you seemed to open up.

After quickly looking over his rooms, you came across a room that stood out. It was filled with guitars, drums, computers and a violin. His computer was in sleep mode and you frowned a bit at his computer's screen saver. It consisted of a picture of him on the beach, he was smoking something you couldn't identify, and he was alone. The sky was purple, it matched the Aquarius symbol on his shirt, and you also assumed that it matched the color of his blood. After a few seconds, which mind you, felt like minutes, you started to notice the song lyrics all over the wall. They could be poems, but you doubted it considering all the musical instruments around the room. You never knew that Cronus wrote music and played songs. Not to mention that he knew how to play the guitar, drums _and_ the violin. Each instrument was like a different language, it took time, practice, and learning. You curled up in the beanbag in the corner. You expected it to be filled with beans, but instead it was memory foam squares, which you decided felt better than any regular bean bag. In all the fluff of the beanbag, you had fallen asleep with your journal and pen.

Cronus == Wake up and try to remember what the fuck happened.

You woke up in your violet bedroom and looked around for Kankri, you were still tired, but you were emotionally feeling better.

"Chief? Did you get tired of watching me sleep and went home?"

There was no answer so you started to look around the house for him. You were starting to think he had left when there was only one room left. You found him asleep in your music room, you stood there for a second, and he looked peaceful. Maybe he was tired? No, he didn't look that tired earlier, but then again, the sun was setting.

Maybe you could sneak out onto the little beach that was nestled into the front of your house a half a mile away from your house. You did feel better that you did earlier, but you were still reckless and throwing your life to the wind so to speak. You sighed and put your jacket on, covering your old scars that you recently found had new meaning to them. You were glad that you knew the truth, however you now had a severe hate for your body. You remember telling your parents that you were a land troll, you even went as far to say that you were human.

You huffed as you put an unlit cigarette in your mouth, you had bags under your eyes despite the sleep you just had. It was a nice nap, and you even slept for most the day. Thankfully you were a night person and this bothered you none. You were letting your thoughts wash away and you ended up on the sandy shore. When your shoes hit the sand you practically threw yourself down into its static waves. The feeling of the tiny grains made you think. The ocean and the sand were opposites, the watery waves moving and choppy, the sand still and smooth, the water an array of greens and blues, yet the sand a deep golden. You didn't want to think anymore. Your head hurt, you were frustrated and fighting the urge to mangle your fins and gills, anything that made you feel inhuman. You laid down in the sand, letting the grains get in your hair, and the ocean air stiffen your clothes with salt. You were afraid to let your guard down, but you couldn't bring yourself to get up and leave. It was almost as if your mind was screaming for your safety but your heart was telling you to stay. As always, your heart made the decisions in your life, and often times it ended badly. What is a passion without thought?

No, you're thinking again. _Stop that Cronus_. You mentally scolded yourself, your mind seemed to be racing, and it was trying to think about everything.

You laid on the sand, it growing cold as night fell like a blanket over its solid waves when you heard a noise. Instinct took over and you sat up quickly, then you proceeded to stand up slowly. _I'm 'gonna die, this is it, I'm 'gonna die. I'm 'gonna die without anyone here to scream as I slowly faded away._ Your mind had started to race again, when you heard a voice, but it was in your head.

" _Your parents are sorry about worrying you with that phone call, they were trying to protect you Cronus."_

"Protect me from what? Happiness?" You were growing frantic when you realized no one was there to speak. You shook your head, trying to ignore the voice.

 _"Only things you brought upon yourself. The beach is safe anyway, we just wanted to scare you into never leaving the house. You should thank me, I gave you your memories back. Also, nobody was even on the phone. It was all in your head."_

"Fuck you! Whoever you are, fuck you!" You were digging your fingernails into your scalp, but not enough to break the skin.

 _"Don't worry, you're not crazy. You are under a spell is all. Think of it as sharing a body with someone, except they have their own body and won't be here forever."_

You were tired of feeling like you were losing your mind, and this was the icing on the cake, the last straw, the last step that would send you over the edge. You knew that if you started screaming and throwing your body around, that you would reach the point of no return. You started to calm yourself, this person was in your head, you were crazy, and since you knew that you were crazy, you weren't actually crazy. Your mind works in strange ways.

" _Jesus stop thinking so much, your giving me a headache."_

"You said my parents were trying to protect me. Why would that do everything they did to end up wanting to protect me?"

 _"They wanted you to live a normal life. I'm on your side, don't think I'm the bad guy. I'm the one who's telling you the shit that's going down right now. I'm telling the truth."_

"How do I know that?"

 _"Because you can hear everything I'm thinking. We share the same mind right now, dumbass."_

You were silent, you were tired of this guy's shit, which technically was your shit right now.

 _"Just be careful who you fall in love with, chief."_

"What is that supposed to mean?"

There was no answer.

"What does that mean?" You were screaming.

Still no answer. They must've left your head and gone back to wherever they came from. Your head was now pounding, either from confusion, stress, or the spell, maybe all three if you were really lucky. You wanted to see Kankri again, so you ran, you ran as fast as you could back to the house, you sprinted the whole half mile and came into your house sweating and panting.

Kankri was awake, but barely, "Cronus wha—"

"Why do you like me, Kankri? Why am I different than all your other friends? Why treat me different?"

"I—"

"What's so special about me?"

Kankri was fully awake now, and he looked angry. He gripped your wrist and pulled you down close to him, "because you're the only one who cares about what I think. You listen to my lectures and you saw past my ways of life. That is why, Cronus. Don't ever question my feelings again."

You were silent, that's all you needed to hear right now, you thought maybe he was in on something, helping your parents or someone else trying to hurt you, You started to fall slowly to your knees, where you hid your face in his stomach.

"You're so short, chief" Your voice was shaky, almost as if you were about to cry.

"Yeah, I know. You don't have to tell me. Now, tell me what just happened at the beach."

"How did y—"

"My dreams either predict the future, or foresee into things that happen while I'm asleep, but it only involves people that I make a connection with."

"So I guess you already know what happened…"

"The thing is, I cannot see what goes on inside your head."

Kankri took your chin and made him look at you. He started to recite a poem.

"You must burn. Burn Higher.

Burn for everything you have ever wanted.

For everything you have ever lost, every crack in your heart and every fraction of every irreplaceable moment.

Burn high for love.

For fear. For life.

Burn as fast and as long as you can.

You must burn. Burn higher.

Because nothing in this world

Will kill you faster

Than a dying fire." _-Mia Hollow_


	5. Classic Wings

Cronus == Overthink things.

The poem he just recited was beautiful, but you had started to think about its meaning. Both literal and metaphorical. Most poems are usually only true in one or the other, but this one was true in both ways. In the wilderness, a fire was necessary for survival. In the metaphorical sense, if you gave up in this world, the way it is now, you would be eaten alive. By society, by the people you trusted, by complete strangers. Everyone is hungry for a flame. Everyone just wants to live, except for those who don't.

Were you one of those people? Were you becoming a dying fire?

"Cronus."

Were you a fire destined to be smothered into ash?

"Cronus, you're crying…"

You looked up at Kankri, who looked concerned, "it's okay to be sad, but it's not okay to mope around because of it. Everyone feels, everyone hurts. Some may deny the things that make them human, but we all secretly feel, we cry, we yell, we laugh."

You said nothing, you knew you didn't have to. Kankri had a way of reading your emotions all too well. It was almost like he had a way of looking into your heart when it felt emotions at its finest, when you were tremendously sad, or when you heart soared in your chest. He knew, and it scared you.

Kankri == Conjure a plan.

Not an evil plan, you will do nothing of the such, you would make a plan to protect Cronus. You would go as far as protecting him from himself if you had to. You decided now was a good time as any to bring something up that was nagging at you ever since.

"Cronus, what's with all the syringes, rolled up dollars, and empty bags in your medicine cabinet?"

"I used to be a drug addict. I was lonely, I thought, hey, I have violet blood. I'll live awhile right? A long while? Might as well shorten it a bit. I mean, who wants to live that long?"

You thought for a moment, maybe it would be best if you left Cronus alone for a while, you seemed to be stirring up unwanted memories.

"Listen, I have to get caught up on work anyway, and I seem to be making you uncomfortable. I'm going to give you some time alone, so you can think about. Don't think about doing anything stupid please… I will come to check in on you every day. Okay?"

Cronus nodded softly, deciding not to protest against you. You hugged him tightly, you started to feel like you were forgetting something.

"Uhm… Cronus, can you drive me back home? We kind of came on the bus… heh…"

You watched him smile softly, it felt forced but at least he was trying to be positive. "Sure thing, chief." He grabbed his keys from the set of hooks at the front door. You watched as he stuffed them into his pocket. You followed him out the front door and to the garage under his house, which was elevated off the ground because it was basically on an island.

He didn't have a mechanical door for his garage, but you didn't mind watching him fling the door upwards with his strong arms. There was a single black Dodge Viper SRT, which made you wonder where he got all this money from. He opened the passenger door for you and shut it when you got in. He hopped into the driver's seat and started the car up.

"My parents."

"I'm sorr—"

"That is where I get my money from. I thought they loved me. Then, I realize what really happened, and I've come to the conclusion that I am a failure, a true failure. I wasted so many years. I can't get them back, but I want your help to make up for it."

I looked over at him, but I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eyes. "You aren't a failure. You've just had more setbacks than anyone else. Don't let those hurdles stop you from running."

He didn't say anything in response, and he started to back out the garage. We were soon on our way back to my hive. While I was back home, I was going to come up with a way to fix Cronus. He didn't deserve to suffer more than he already had. Imagine if your life wasn't what you thought it was the whole time. Imagine if you had come to find out that your parents hated the real you, and put you through brainwashing therapy.

You had gotten lost in your thoughts, for your mind was a universe. It seemed endless, you could store so much information, it was vast, always elaborating.

"Kankri."

You snapped out of your daydreaming and looked over at Cronus who nodded his head to he direction of your house. "We're here, chief."

"Oh, I didn't notice… Thank you."

"No problem," you watched him as he waved off your thanks and you went into your hive.

You looked through the window as he drove off in his extremely nice car. It smelled new too, almost like it hadn't been used much. You started to massage your temples as you threw yourself onto the sofa. It would be great if plans were easy to make, if he didn't have to go through this, but he had to. Now was as good of a time as any, if he was alone when he went through this he might not be alive…

You shook your head, trying to burn away the negative thoughts that floated around in your mind.

Cronus == Stand up to yourself.

You drove back home rather fast, you needed to stand up to yourself, you needed to look in the mirror. You needed to see the scars that traveled across your body, the scars that made you remember the past. You wouldn't make anymore. Tattoos were just as good right? They reminded you of the past, the people you love, or loved. Tattoos could be anything you wanted them to be, while scars were only as deep as your mind let them be.

You quickly locked your car up and shut the garage door. You ran up the steps to your front door, which you had left unlocked. You walked to the nearest bathroom and stripped off your clothing, you didn't know if you were prepared to see the damage the past you had done, but that was okay. You have to live with what you get, and what you get can be changed. You slowly looked up from the floor, you weren't surprised when you saw the scars all over the fins on your forearms. You closed your eyes for a second, taking this moment to memorize every scar, every defect. You opened your eyes again and sighed.

"I can live with this." You said to yourself. Saying it aloud made it feel more official. You smiled a bit.

"I can live with the scars. I can live with my mangled fins. I can live with my gills, and I can live being Cronus."

You sighed, being relieved that it was over, you were shaking a bit as you walked to the nearest bathroom, grabbing a towel and turning the shower on. You needed a hot shower, a relaxing, refreshing hot shower. You tested the water to make sure it was hot enough, and yes, it was. The water was _almost_ too hot, for it was on the edge of burning you. You stepped slowly into the shower, relaxing when the hot water rolled down your back. You would've fallen asleep there if you didn't know any better. After a while of basking in the hot water you started to shampoo your hair. You coughed a bit when some soap found its way into your mouth, and then resumed cleansing yourself. When you were satisfied with your hygiene, you turned the water off and used your hands to get rid of the excess water in your hair.

You hoped out onto the rug beside the shower, your body shaking at the old air. You quickly grabbed your towel, wrapping it around your body so you would no longer feel as cold. You made your way to your black bedroom, in which you got out a pair of boxers and a t-shirt from your dresser. A soft laugh escaped from your lips when you saw what t-shirt you had picked, all it said was 'spoopy' and you had no idea why it was so funny to you. Holy god, you are a dork, it took one word to make you laugh. You slipped on your shirt and a pair of purple and black boxers.

You took this time alone to blare some of your favorite songs through your surround sound house system. You plugged in your iPod into the control center that was located in your music room. As you opened Spotify, you selected a playlist and turned up the volume. The song _Ride (feat. M. Maggie) By Black Coast_ played through the house and you started to relax at the sound of the familiar song. It was so relaxing, the melody was calm and the vocals were smooth like honey.

After a while the song faded and more songs proceeded after it. You decided to get fully dressed and go to work today. You were in the mood to do some inking, and even if nobody came you could still sketch up some designs.

°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸,ø¤°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸

You arrived at your work, unlocked the front door, and flipped the 'closed' sign over to 'open'. After a few minutes of sitting at your work station, viewing over some concept sketches and adding a bit of color, the bell at the front of the door jingled, notifying you that someone had come inside.

You walked up to the front of the store to greet the new customer, or customers you should say. It was Gamzee and Tavros. You froze up for a bit, being interested as to why they would be here.

"Tavros wants me to get a cover-up job. He says that he hates the tattoo on my back, come to think of it, I don't really like it anymore either."

You sighed, wondering what the tattoo was, "alright, let me see."

Gamzee set Tavros down into my work chair while he took off his shirt. I turned him around and laughed a bit. "Gamzee why would you get a tattoo like this?" You started to laugh some more, and stopped when you had your fill.

The tattoo was a bottle of Faygo. You sighed and looked up at Gamzee. "So, you came here for a cover up right? If so, then tell me what kind of tattoo you'd like."

"I dunno, just something awesome bro."  
"Alright. You pay afterwards. It's going hurt a bit more than your last tattoo because now there is scar tissue."

"Let's just get this over with."

You washed your hands with hot water and soap, then wiped his back down with an alcohol wipe. You told him to lay on his stomach in the tattooing chair and to stay like that until you were done. You drew on his back with a medical marker, drawing the main shapes and such. You got your needle and filled it with black ink. You starting inking the outlines first, then adding details in a smaller line size. After you were done with the large tattoo, it had completely covered up the ugly bottle of Faygo that had been there before.

"Done."

You pointed Gamzee to a mirror, he looked over the tattoo and was quiet for a moment. "This is mother fucking awesome bro."

It was a medium sized pair or black and greyscale wings. You had added some purple blood at the bottom as well, it was more of a classical style tattoo, and it seemed that Gamzee loved it. He had paid you the exact amount that was due, and you gave him care instructions so it healed properly. You waved them off as they left the shop, Gamzee carrying Tavros like he always did.

You heard your phone buzz, and decieded to ignore it since you were working on a design. It buzzed a few more times and they started becoming more frequent. You looked at your watch and cursed when you saw how late it was. You had lost track of time and it was now 11p.m. You cleaned up your workspace and your tools and grabbed your phone off the table, checking your messages. All of them were from Kankri.

 _-Cronus I'm at the comic book store, just saw Gamzee and Tavros come out of your shop. What did they get? Sorry for being so nosey._

 _-Cronus stop ignoring my texts I can practically see you._

 _-Cronus you twat check your phone._

 _-Cronus_

 _-Cronus_

 _-Cronussss_

 _-C_

 _-R_

 _-O_

 _-N_

 _-U_

 _-S_

 _-I'm coming over there._

You looked up your phone to see Kankri walking across the street, he looked determined and dominant, and he was puffing out his chest when he walked into my shop. "Cronus whatever your last name is," he was talking in a scolding tone.

"Ampora."

"Cronus Ampora, why didn't you look at your phone I could've been dying."

You blinked, a bit confused, "then wouldn't you call 911?"

Kankri narrowed his eyes and then started to laugh, unable to keep up the tough guy act. You saw this as an opportunity and stood up, running over to him and tickling his sides. In response to this tickle attack he started to fall weak in your arms from how hard he was laughing.

"S—Stop that t—tickles!"

"Of course it tickles silly!"

He had started to squeal, and both of you had ended up squirming around on the floor, you stopped tickling him and pinned him to the ground. Blush had started to spread across his face.

"Kankri, thank you for changing how I saw the world." I was a bit out of breath when I spoke.

"Cronus, thank you for changing my ways." He smiled, and you smiled back, getting off him and hoisting him up off the ground.

"Want to come over for some tea?" Kankri was smiling at me, and somehow, I felt better than I had in a while.

"Yes chief, I'd love that."


	6. Me Too

Kankri == Walk home with Cronus.

"How far is the walk from here to your house?"

"About 20 minutes. I came with Porrim to the comic book store."

"Alright chief, I'll walk home with you as long as you promise me something."

"Like what?"

"I don't want you to worry about me anymore. I'll be fine, sure I'm still stressed but I think I'm okay now. I guess I was somewhat in shock, hell, anyone would be right?"

You tensed a bit, of course you were going to worry. You had every right to, he had a past of self-harm, and not to mention the therapy he went through. "Cronus, I don't think I'll ever stop worrying. I'm sorry I can't promise you that, but what I can promise you is this; I promise that I will trust you to be safe even when I'm not there."

Cronus looked up a bit, you could tell he was thinking, and after a few brief seconds he finally spoke. "Alright, I can live with that Kanny."

"Kanny?" You raised an eyebrow at him, as if to question the new nickname.

"Yeah… I thought I'd give you a nickname or somehin' I guess I just thought I needed one for you."

You pouted a bit, you guess you didn't really mind having a nickname, Porrim and most of your friends called you Kanny as well. Maybe you weren't excited at the idea because it made you feel like he was just another one of your friends.

"Kankri, we should probably leave soon, it's getting pretty dark out…"

"I can't be that dark I just got—"You looked out the window as sure enough, dusk had started to crawl its way into the sky. This day had gone by fast, Gamzee even got a new tattoo. You wondered what it was a tattoo of. Now that you thought about it, you had never seen Cronus's art before.

"Kankri, I just remembered that I drove here today. Do you still vwanna vwalk?" He started to produce an accent that you'd never heard before, he seemed to have noticed this and cleared his throat. He was playing it off like it didn't happen.

"I'd rather go in your car, if that's okay. It is getting fairly dark out. You know it's very unsafe to walk around in populized areas without a weapon of some sort. Even if you did have a weapon you'd have to be careful with it to make sure you didn't hurt anyone else. That would be bad wouldn't it? It also isn't safe to carry any gun that's loaded around, of course that's common sense but—"

Cronus had placed a single finger upon your lips. Normally this would've only infuriated you, but it was getting late and you understood that you had started to ramble. Cronus locked the shop up before taking your hand and guiding you out the back door. He unlocked the car with the wireless lock on his keychain, and being the gentleman he is, he opened the door for you.

You smiled as if to thank him and he smiled back. You wondered if the car was used a lot. It still looked brand-new and just like before, it stilled smelled of fresh leather and clean windows, you know, the usual new car smell.

Cronus hopped into the driver seat and started the engine without any breaks in his movements. The way he moved was so smooth, and it kinda reminded you of those chocolate commercials that you saw on TV where they would show how silky the chocolate looked when it was melted. You narrowed your eyes a bit as you looked out the window, you were starting to overthink this whole thing. He was moving so naturally because he had done this many times before, right? Thee thing that confused you was that the car seemed new.

"Cronus?" He was starting to pull out the parking lot.

"Yes chief?"

"Why does this car smell and look new?"

You watched him as he drove out into the street after looking both ways, "well, I got it for my 21st 'birthday' as the humans call it."

"So that makes your as you say 'birthday' when?

"August 8th"

"So… exactly a week ago?"

"Yes. Did you know the number eight is considered 'lucky'? I don't feel very lucky sometimes, but then when I think about it I realize that I am lucky because I have _you,_ as a matesprit, as a friend, however you still want to see me as."

You thought for a second, Cronus was your matesprit but it wasn't, how you say, a full relationship just yet. Those things take time, you two just agreed not to see anyone else. You blushed, thinking about what he had just said. "So… what you're saying is that even though your life hasn't been the greatest, you still consider yourself lucky because of me?"

"That's right Kanny" I watched him as he smiled, he was a good driver and he hadn't taken his eyes off the road once. It's driving like this that made you feel safe in a car, which rarely happened.

"Hey Kankri… Porrim told me you didn't like riding in cars, is that true?"

"Yes, and no. When I was younger my family and I got in a car crash, ever since then I've had mild PTSD. Only my little cousin Karkat and I lived."

"If karkat is your cousin why was he with you guys? No offense, just curious."

"His parents kicked him out because they found out he was gay."

There was what seemed to be a long silence between the two of you, finally Cronus spoke. "I have a little brother, but he isn't so little anymore. He lives about an hour from here."

"Do you visit him?"

"Nah…" You decided to stop asking questions when Cronus tightened his grip on the wheel. He and his brother must not really get along all that well.

Cronus pulled into your driveway and cut the car off, he was looking out the window at something.

You started to whisper, wondering what he saw, "What is it Cronus?" you kept your voice low in case whatever he was looking at could hear you.

"I'm not really sure… Kankri stay in the car." He kept his voice low as I started to protest.

"I don't think that's a good idea." You latched yourself onto his arm, not wanting to let him go out there alone. If it was an active shooter or a rabid animal you would make sure you would go down with him

"Kankri it's alright, let go of me." His eyes were caring and almost gentle looking.

"Fine," you let go of his arm, "but don't get yourself hurt."

He smiled a bit, his eyes gleaming. They looked sad now, but you didn't worry. Nothing else could go bad for him right? I guess that night you were wrong.

Cronus == Inspect the strange man.

After you got out the car you looked around a bit to see if there was more than one guy. You knew it was a person, you saw the edges of their silhouette illuminated by the moonlight. They had a gun, but you didn't care, you wanted to protect Kankri, you wouldn't allow him to get killed, he was far too smart, he had a beautiful mind and you regretted not telling him this.

He _was_ inside the house when you first pulled up. He must've just been a burglar or something because he had slipped out the back door, hoping to be unnoticed. He was bad at that part, for you noticed him almost immediately. You walked to the back yard, where you saw him trying to jump over the fence, he was failing at that too. No wonder this guy resorted to robbing houses. He was probably bad at everything else.

"Hey!"

He was at the top of the fence, and he turned his head at the sound of your voice, you could tell he was male because you heard him talking to someone before you decided to make your move.

He didn't respond back, and his mask was off. Which meant you could identify him to the police, and that would not be good news to him.

You started to climb up the fence, where you saw that his foot was caught in between one of the small metal diamonds that made up the fence around Kankri's yard. You ripped the loot sack off of him, and threw it down to the ground below. It was at this moment that he shot you in the shoulder, and obviously he didn't feel like that was enough, so he slammed the gun upside your head **_hard._**

You didn't remember much after that.

 **Time Skip - One Week**

Kankri == Sit at the hospital.

You were still a bit upset… and hurt, that Cronus did that for you. You didn't know why you felt so bad, and you were having pangs of sadness that _literally made your chest hurt._ Cronus had been in a coma for a week, he had gotten shot in the shoulder. It wasn't bad, and the doctors were able to fix him, but he lost a _lot_ of blood. His head trauma had put him into a coma. The doctors said they didn't know how long it would be before he woke up, _if_ he even did wake up.

You heard somebody groan, and you realized it was Cronus, he was waking up.

"My head, vwhat happened?" There was that accent again.

You ran over to him, almost slipping on the floor in the process. "Y—you're awake!"

He smiled, "of course I'm avwake."

"I thought… I thought you might never wake up…"

"VWake up from vwhat? I'm in the hospital right?"

"Oh… I guess you might not remember much huh… Well, you got shot in the shoulder, and the doctors said your sleep hibernation was most likely caused by your head trauma. What happened to you wasn't exactly a coma, your body responded to stimulus, but you never actually talked, made a noise, or woke up. You didn't even open your eyes."

He looked out the window, he was squinting his eyes, but he seemed okay with the brightness. "How long was I out?"

"Only a week… I'm glad it wasn't any longer than that…"

There was a pause between us, and then I heard him speak.

"Hey Kanny?"

"Yeah…?"

"You look tired, you should probably get some sleep, and you've got some extreme bags under your eyes. Vwere you really that vworried about me?"

"Yes, I was. I couldn't sleep much, I was just worried… I was worried about everything. Also, you have somewhat of an accent, do you know anything about that?"

"Oh, yeah, that's how I usually talk when I'm stressed, excited, nervwous, and so on. Its how used to talk, I guess I'm still getting used to being avway from home."

"What do you mean? Haven't you lived here for a while?"

"Vwell, I guess my accent has been sticking around avwhile." He smiled a bit, "I'm just a bit stressed right now Kanny, I mean, who vwouldn't be?"

I guess he got tired of talking, because he carefully pulled me into the hospital bed beside him. I saw him wince a bit, his shot wound was still healing, but he could use his arm. I blushed a bit and hid my face in the neck of my sweater, he had his arms around me, and thankfully he wasn't laying on his bad side.

I had fallen asleep in his arms, I hadn't slept well in a solid week, and I often found myself dozing off when I was eating or in the shower. I awoke to the sound of Cronus, a nurse, and the doctor conversing. They said that after he was fully healed that he was able to go home, and that the bullet went all the way through and came out the other side. Since the gun was at close range, it did a bit more damage than a normal regular range shot would've been.

"You are going to need physical therapy in order to get a decent working arm again." The nurse was very nice to us, and gave him a bit of pain medication after he told her his shoulder was hurting.

They left the room and told him to try not to use that arm much while he was still in the final stages of healing. I pretended to be asleep the whole time, I didn't know why, I guess I was still tired. I felt Cronus nuzzle into the back of my neck, which caused me to blush horribly.

"You're awake aren't you?" His accent was gone, and I heard him giggle a bit.

"Y—yeah," I pulled my head all the way into my sweater, feeling my whole face start to get warm.

His giggle had turned into a laugh and he just held me tighter.

Cronus == Realize that you have feelings for Kankri, deep, deep feelings.

Gog, is he cute. He's always cute and sometimes it drives you crazy. You haven't kissed him yet, you haven't kissed anyone in fact. You were the god of all virgins, the… _King Virgin_ himself. You couldn't help but start to laugh at yourself, you were 21, and you ruled supreme over all the other virgins. You felt your face get red with embarrassment.

"Hey, Cronus?"

You made a 'hmm?' noise, and looked up at him.

"Your face is red, are you okay?"

"Yeah! Evwerything is fine!" Gog damn it, your accent was acting up again.

"Cronus…" Kankri said your name in a scary way, almost like he was growling it at the same time he spoke it.

I sighed, giving in, "I am _King Virgin_."

"Come again?"

" _King Virgin,_ all the way chief."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I'vwe nevwer been kissed, nevwer anything, but, porn has to count for somethin' right?"

You watched as Kankri face palmed and started to laugh.

"Yes Cronus, I suppose it does." He smiled a bit and you both froze, looking into each other's eyes, you were close enough to kiss him.

Should you? What if he didn't feel the same way? What if it triggered him? You should probably just do it and see what happens right? Okay, here you go.

His face had moved closer to yours and you closed your eyes, letting your lips collide with his. It was a loving kiss, and was by no means sloppy at all. It lasted for a few seconds, and you pulled away, your face dusted with a light violet, you were afraid he would be mad. You looked down at him, seeing that he too was blushing. You liked the color of his cheeks when he blushed, and you thought that maybe he should do it more often. You gently cupped the side of his face.

"Hey Kanny… I think I might be falling in love with you…" You let your voice trail off at the end. He smiled a bit at your words, he sighed, and started to speak.

"Me too Cronus…" his voice softened as he said it again. _"Me too."_


	7. Diamond in The Rough

**Time Skip – Cronus's Recovery**

Cronus== Go home, the struggle is real.

Kankri had fallen asleep after the two of you shared an innocent kiss. As much as you wanted to french him, you knew that it probably wasn't a very good idea. While Kankri slept, you stayed awake. Your mind wouldn't stop thinking about what had just happened, it's not like it was a big deal, but it made your heart beat hard in your chest. So hard in fact, that it started to bring you physical pain. _Cronus Ampora, killed by a kiss from Kankri Vantas._ You thought about how this might've sounded if it were on the news or something. You were anticipating a heart attack, you could hear your pulse in your ears, and it was almost like your heart was trying to break out of your body. Of course you didn't literally think you were going to have a heart attack, you weren't that incompetent.

Nobody else had the power to make your heart beat like that. Kankri was in fact your first love, and as much as you wished that he would stay by your side forever, you knew that one day he might leave. The thought made you sad, it hurt you in fact, but everyone knows that it's a miracle if your first love is your last love. You would live much longer than him, you would probably spend years alone in the future, but that didn't matter to you. What matters is now, because what you do now affects your future.

His love was like the sound of rain on the roof of the house, it was gentle, sometimes is poured down, sometimes it was a delicate mist. You _loved_ the rain, and often times you found yourself standing outside with your face to the sky. You see, Kankri was your rain. He gave you life, he revived parts of you that had gone dry, the parts of you that were dying. And just like the rain, he brought with him the sweet smell that was in the air before the storm. He was unpredictable, his next move was unknown. Just like the rain.

You got up out of bed after delving deep into your mind. You didn't do this often, for it made you feel exhausted. The nurse notified you that you could leave today, and gave you a prescription for some pain killers. She reminded you about physical therapy and gave you a business card of a place she recommended you to go. You thanked the nurse as she left the room and she waved it off as to say it was no problem.

Gog did you want a shower right now. You decided that when you got home that you would take one. At the hospital it was a bit hard for you to get up, and as you healed it hurt to even move your arm. Even if you could shower, there was bar soap and not liquid soap, which meant you could _drop the soap,_ and every time you did in the past, your brain made you think about some ass bean criminal making his way with you. To keep yourself from picturing that for the rest of your life, you refused to use bar soap. It was stupid, you knew that, but you didn't care what anyone thought.

You dressed yourself and looked down at Kankri. He was still asleep, he looked so peaceful and you were reluctant to wake him up. You were the reason he hadn't gotten sleep lately, and he was sleeping on the hospital bed beside you more frequently. You didn't mind though, and you thought it was cute. There are some people that kick and slap in their sleep, and others that cuddle and hug. Kankri was a _sleep cuddler_ , and you are not sure if he knew that yet. Often times you found yourself trapped in his arms, with his legs wrapped around your waist, it was such innocent love.

You couldn't help but yawn a few times as you started your mission to wake Kankri up. You really, _really_ didn't want to, but you had to.

"Kankri," you moved his hair out of his face, and he continued to sleep.

"Wake up chief," you placed your bad arm on his shoulder and shook him gently.

Still nothing, Gog was he a heavy sleeper. You started to accept the fact that you would basically have to slap his across the face to make him wake up. You weren't going to do that, and you started to put plan B into effect. Your plan B was to flop all over his body like a dying fish until he woke up.

You crawled onto the hospital bed and nudged your head into his armpit, you started to sneeze and huff as you wiggled around. He started to stir and you sniffed at his face to tickle him. You heard him groan as he started to rub the sleepiness out of his eyes. Gog he was the cutest thing with his messy hair and groggy attitude.

Kankri == Wake up to your face being sniffed at.

You were still waking up, and you were a bit slow at first.

"Cronus w—what are you doing?" You opened your eyes a bit to find his face inches away from yours.

"Waking you up, plan A didn't work so plan B was next."

"Shouldn't you be in bed anyway?"

"Nope. The nurse said I could leave today."

"How long have you been up?"

"About 20 minutes, I let you sleep a bit longer, I know it's my fault that you haven't been resting well lately…" You watched as he nervously scratched the back of his neck, watching as his eyes trailed away from you.

"It's not your fault Cronus, I've just been worrying too much." You laughed a bit, trying to lighten the mood. You were happy that Cronus was finally doing better, but he now had a scar on his shoulder. You didn't care about scars, they were just a mark of the past, and you weren't sure why people disliked them.

Cronus didn't respond, he obviously wasn't buying the whole 'you totally didn't make me worry shitless' act. You sat up in the hospital bed and hopped off onto the floor. You fixed your sweater and ran your hands over your pants as if to dust them, or to smooth them out. Cronus was yawing, and he obviously should've slept more, but you knew that he was happy to be leaving. He didn't really have much to do here, and often times he was writing in a journal. He never did let you see what he was writing, and it made you think he was hiding something. He claimed that they were just poems or songs he thought of, and he didn't like other people reading them. You believed him, but you were nosey and wanted to know if they could've possibly been about you.

"Ready to go Kanny?"

"Yes," you both gathered your things, Cronus his journal and miscellaneous items, and you your things as well.

You followed him out of the room that you had stayed in for the past month together. He would've recovered earlier but he also had a very bad concussion, and he needed to be monitored. It was now safe to say that you and Cronus knew each other very well. During his time in recovery, you both told stories and learned things about him you never knew. They weren't bad things but some of the things he told you surprised you. For example, you never knew that he loved the rain, you hated it, so you could not relate very well to how he felt. He tried to explain the rain as graceful, refreshing, and yet dangerous and powerful. You however didn't see it this way, you disliked how it felt on your skin, it darkened the skies, and not to mention that sometimes it caused flooding. You both shrugged away your differences, rain is rain after all.

There was something that you noticed about him. He saw the good in everything, he saw the poetic side. He saw the power and the grace in everything. If you gave him something to talk about, say fire for example, he would talk about how wild it was, yet he knew about the beauty of its freedom. He talked about the warm colors of the flames, and the golden light that it cast upon everything in reach. He said it was like a piece of the sun, a droplet of the sky's golden essence.

You had both made your way back to his car in the parking garage. You had driven it there after calling 911, you didn't want his car to be broken into. You knew how expensive it was. He opened the passenger side for you like he always did, and shut it after making sure that you were fully in the car. You watched as he walked around the car to the other side, and looked away when he started to pull his keys from his pocket. You were thinking about how scared you were to drive his car all the way here. You barely drove anywhere because of the anxiety it gave you, the past still bothered you, and sometimes you saw it happen all over again in your head.

Cronus had hopped into the car and started the engine, he fixed his seat and checked his mirrors. This is why you felt safe with him driving, he didn't get distracted, and he always made sure everything was _just_ right before driving off.

°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸,ø¤°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸

You were on the road when Cronus started to talk to you, he sounded a bit distressed, but you knew that was because it was rush hour and there were cars everywhere. After you told him how you felt about riding in cars, he was a bit on edge when there were a lot of other cars around. He didn't want you getting hurt, and he didn't want to be the one to cause that.

"Kanny, do your friends know that we are matesprits? I mean, we aren't really dating yet, since we agreed to just not see anyone else, but do they still think you are celibate?"

"No, I haven't told them yet."

He was silent for a moment but then he spoke, "why?" He sounded a bit sad.

"I don't know… They can just be really immature at times, and they would probably tease me about it, in a friendly way though."

"I make you happy right? Sometimes I feel like I'm holding you back, and I don't want to prevent you from succeeding in life."

"Why would you think that you are holding me back? Or that you make me unhappy?"

He shrugged a bit, "it's just something I had to ask, I know how smart you are about everything, and now that I think about it, I'm not really smart enough to have conversations with you about your work or your research."

"Cronus."

"Yeah?"

"You don't hold me back, you help me move on from things I used to worry about in the past."

"Okay…" He didn't sound satisfied but he didn't look as unhappy as he did before. You should probably ask him to be your boyfriend, you had known him for over a month and during that time you were always by his side. You felt like you had met him somewhere before, but you could never quite remember where.

"Hey Kanny."

You responded with a 'hmm' to let him know that you were listening.

"You don't remember me do you?"

"No… what do you mean? I always felt like I've met you before."

"You know that kid in middle school, the one with the glasses that never talked to anyone? Well, that was me. I was only at your school for a year in 8th grade. We didn't have any classes together so I thought maybe you didn't recognize me. I was the one who wrote you that poem and slipped it into your locker. I know I look nothing like I did when I was younger, puberty hit me like a bus. I've had a crush on you since I was 14"

You remembered that kid now, he never talked to anyone and was always nervous around you. Cronus actually wasn't a stranger at all when you met him, you just didn't remember him from before. Everybody left him alone, he didn't get picked on but he just wouldn't talk no matter what. You thought it was cute. Your first love had loved you since he was young.

"Why didn't you talk to anyone?" I looked over at him.

"I was afraid. The therapy left me anxious and withdrawn from everyone."

"You know, you were cute when you were a kid. Not to say that you're not cute now, because you are, but you were also cute when you were young."

You saw him blush a bit, Gog he was such a nerd back in school. He wore glasses and had braces.

"So I guess you're not a stranger after all then." You asked him, not allowing him to respond to what you said. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I wanted to start a new relationship with you, I didn't want to be known as that quiet kid in class. I thought that you would've just thought I was boring. Plus, back then I wasn't the same person I am now, you know? I was in pain, but I didn't know what was happening to me. I was just hiding from the world."

"I'm glad that fate brought us together again."

"Fate?" Cronus didn't take his eyes off the road.

"Yes."

"I think it's more like destiny."

"Destiny?" You were the one asking the question now.

"Look at how much we have changed each other. We have helped each other get through hard times, and I don't think I would be alive right now if it wasn't for you. It was my _destiny_ to meet you, at least that is what I believe."

I smiled a bit, and tried hid my face in the neck of my sweater.

"Nope." I was confused when I heard him speak, what was he saying 'nope' to?

You watched as he slowed down and pulled the car over, it was the dirt road that led to your house, so no other cars were around. He leaned over to you and pulled the fabric down from your face, and he kissed you. His lips were on yours quicker than you could process what was going on. He gently bit your lip and pulled away, he smiled, and you could feel how hot your face was.

"Cute." He laughed a bit and continued his journey down the driveway to your house, while you sat flustered like a school girl right beside him.

You remembered the poem he wrote you back in middle school, it went something like this;

 _"You will never notice me,_

 _Until I become_

 _Important_

 _Like you too,_

 _I don't know if that day will come,_

 _But I promise this- I promise that it's true._

 _I will never be able to bring myself_

 _To stop from loving you._

 _Even if we never meet again,_

 _Even if we never touch,_

 _Know that my heart is at war,_

 _For it is in love_

 _With a diamond in the rough."_


	8. Can't Look Away

Author's Note This chapter contains smut, if you do not want to read, skip over it. There will be a '*****' before and after the smut is over. Thank You!

Kankri == Don't Feel at Home.

You were home, and Cronus had opened the door for you, he was presenting your own house to you like he was at a game show. You giggled softly as he crouched down on the ground, spreading his arms out and singing, "Kankri is… Hoooooommmmeeeee!" He started to wave his arms, and eventually he started to crack up laughing. "I am so lame, I'm sorry you met me."  
You couldn't tell if he meant the last part or not, "Well, I'm glad I met you and that's all that matters." You were looking at him with a challenging glare, it was the kind of glare someone gave you when they knew they were right.  
Cronus huffed and dusted his jacket off, apparently all that showcasing made it crinkled.  
You walked into the living room and set your messenger bag down that you frequently carried around with you. For some reason, you were sad to be home again, it felt lonely even though Cronus was leaning against the wall beside you.  
"What's wrong chief? You look upset."  
You shrugged, not really knowing why you were feeling this way, "it just doesn't feel like home." You let your eyes trail to the floor.  
Cronus was quiet for a moment. He was thinking about what he should say next, or so you suspected.  
"You can liwve with me if you vwant kanny." His accent had started to weave its way into his words, and it seemed like whenever you were upset he got upset as well. Isn't that how a relationship works though? Maybe not always, but that's how it worked in this one. "As much as I would love that, I think I have way too much stuff to move." Although your house, or hive if you want to be technical was small, you had quite a bit of furniture. It wasn't enough to make your living quarters feel cluttered, it actually felt very cozy. The things that would be a pain to move were all the books you had in your study room. Not to mention that you had everything just the way you liked it.  
You couldn't help but notice how disappointed Cronus looked, he was pawing at the ground with his black high-top converse. "It's alright, I understand." He smiled weakly, and you saw through his poor attempt to reassure you that he wasn't upset.  
"Vwell, I should probably get going Kanny. I need a shovwer pretty bad." You blinked as you watched him visibly shiver, and you didn't blame him. Recovery in the hospital is a bitch. Language you thought to yourself.  
"You can just shower here if you want."  
He raised an eyebrow, seeming to be considering your offer. "Ya' sure that's okay chief?"  
You nodded, already having made up your mind about the topic.  
"But Kanny, vwhat am I going to vwear…?"  
Oh. You hadn't thought about that, and he was much bigger than you. Aha! An idea, yes, anyone else would've thought about this, "I'll just wash your clothes while you're in the shower."  
"Are you sure that this is okay?"  
"Yes Cronus, ask again and I'll flush the toilet while you're in there."  
"It doesn't actually get hot does it?"  
"Here it does." Your grinned a bit, pretending to look evil.  
"Well shit Kan, I newver knew you were like that." He laughed a bit and you threw a red towel at him, it hit him square in the face end ended up staying there as part of it draped over his horns.  
He gave you a thumbs down.  
"Why did you just give me a thumbs down? That makes no sense."  
He laughed, his face hidden under the towel, "look up what it means in Japanese."  
"Just tell m—"  
He ran into the bathroom and locked the door, you heard him as he kissed the door. "Mwah, sorry Chief."  
You heard him turn the water on, and with that you lost interest because you knew you probably weren't getting in the bathroom while he was in there. You pulled your phone out your pocket, deciding to look up what the gesture meant. You face went blank and you frowned. It meant 'go f*ck yourself.' Being the Kankri you are, you censored it just in case it was triggering to any of you humans reading his thoughts. There went the fourth wall. You laughed a bit, thinking that it was silly to think that anyone was writing a story about your life right now. Cronus threw his clothes out of the door, opening it in a flash and quickly shutting it, and in the process forgetting to lock it. This snapped you out of your daydream, and you scoped the clothes up, making your way to the washer and dryer.

Cronus== Take a hot shower, think about Kankri too much.

You groaned in relief as you jacked off in the shower. Just kidding, save that for later Cronus. The water felt good, and you weren't jacking off like the narrator said you were. It would be weird if you jacked off in your friends shower right? Was that an okay thing to do? You blushed a bit and let the thought be thrown out of your brain. You smothered your hair in shampoo to rinse it out shortly after. You washed your body, and after getting all that out the way you stood under the hot water. Gog did you love showers, the feeling of the water rolling down your body made you feel invincible. You knew you weren't invincible, but you didn't care. Water was your favorite thing about life—well, it used to be anyway. You were starting to think that Kankri outranked water at this point.  
You wondered if Kankri had remembered that poem you wrote him back in middle school. Probably not. You thought to yourself. It was silly to think that someone would remember something like that, especially if you didn't know who it was from.  
In fact, you found yourself thinking about Kankri a bit too much.

You thought back to when you kissed him in the car earlier, and your body ached when you remembered how badly you wanted to shove you tongue in his mouth. Your thoughts were making you feel embarrassed, because if Kankri ever knew what you were thinking about right now, you think he just might die. You remembered what his body looked like when you pulled his red sweater off him that one day. You looked up at the ceiling, unable to clear your head of any thoughts involving Kankri right now. Your face went blank when you felt a familiar feeling growing between your legs. You looked down slowly and blushed more when you saw your squirming violet bulge. "Shit…" You had no time for such matters, but… you also couldn't put pants on. It would ruin your pants anyway, for it was already slippery and wet with its own lubricant. Oh Gog.  
You turned the shower off and dried your hair, making your way down your body with the towel, making sure to avoid the only part of your body that was crying for attention.  
You cleared your throat, "Hey Kankri, I kinda need my clothes…!" You were answered when he came running up the steps, he sounded like a horse making his way up them. "Here," he opened the door and threw them into the bathroom with you.  
You left them on the floor, you wouldn't need clothes right now, "Thanks Kan… hey, do you hawve an extra room I can get dressed in? Ya' knovw… because it's really humi—"You were going to say humid before he cut you off.  
"Yes, I have an extra guest room. Down the hall to the right, you can stay the night if you want."  
"T—thanks" Gog why did you have to stutter, why couldn't you talk right when your emotions got the best of you?  
You carefully wrapped the towel around your waist, making sure not to get any of your 'homemade' lube all over his towel. You awkwardly ran/walked down the hallway. You shut the door harder than you anticipated and sighed with relief. This moment of relief was short lived as you felt your bulge start to ache for attention. Sighing, you gave in to your own desire and jumped onto the bed, promising yourself that you wouldn't make a mess. Come to think of it, you hadn't masturbated in a while, which would make this time even better than the last.  
You didn't bother with teasing yourself, and instead roughly grasped your length, you shuttered from the feeling. Why don't I do this more often? You started to move your hand slowly up and down your shaft, which you knew wasn't small. After a few minutes, your pace had picked up to as fast as you could go and you were panting, humping your hand for added pressure as you bit into the pillow. You had changed positions with your lower half in the air, and your face into the pillow. You were careful to make sure that not a dingle drop of your precum or lube hit the bed sheets, and you were successful at this.  
You weren't aware that you were moaning Kankri's name until you had started to become very loud. There was no doubt that Kankri could hear you, but it was a matter of what he thought was going on that mattered. You were coming close, and found yourself unable to pull your hand away. Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit. You could hear Kankri's footsteps as he ran up the steps. Please walk, please don't open the door, please turn around and go back downstairs.  
Your wishes weren't granted, and Kankri had opened the door in time to see you cum all over your stomach.  
He probably would've said something if he wasn't in shock. You had started to calm down and he was frozen in the doorway, his face a deep candy red.  
"Heh… Hi chief…"

Kankri == Be in Shock.

You just walked in on your crush masturbating while moaning your name. Your mind was racing and you didn't know what to do, you wanted to run but your body wouldn't move. It was like it was disconnected from your brain and no matter how many times you tried to bring yourself to at least look away, you couldn't. You had tried to speak, but you couldn't even open your mouth. Your face was burning, and it felt like you were on fire. Cronus was taking this well, he even broke the silence between you two. You had started to relax some, but all you could manage to do was bite your lip. Cronus Ampora, your current crush is extremely hot. You could feel your pants getting snug but you ignored the feeling.  
"Uhh… Chief…?"He wiped his genetic material off on his hand, then looked around for something to get it off with. You could tell he didn't quite think this through, he just sat back down and threw a towel over his lap. You guess it didn't really matter now since you had already seen everything. You think you were in shock because of his size. For comparison, it was the length of your forearm from your elbow to your wrist. That was a lot of penis.

"Chief…?" Cronus looked very nervous now, and you attempted to speak.  
"U—Uh…. I—I'm sorry I—I didn't mean t—to w—"  
He smiled. Why was he smiling? You could tell his nervousness was going away.  
"It's alright Kankri, I got carried away a bit…"  
"I thought you were calling f—for m—me so I…."  
"I basically was… but not in the way you are talking about… I think it's best that you let me get dressed."  
"Cronus I don't think I can m—move."  
He raised an eyebrow, as if to ask if you were being serious or not. "I seriously can't bring myself to move."  
"Kank—"  
"I'm not moving." You could cross your arms, but you still had no control over your legs, or anything below your hips for that matter.  
Cronus shrugged, "Alright, let me just…" He pointed to his hand and you nodded your head into the direction of a box of tissues sitting on the table beside the bed. He wiped anything else he missed on himself clean, and threw it away into the small trashcan in the corner of the room. He walked over to his pile of clothes that laid upon the floor, and you could finally bring yourself to look away. You were pouting, from embarrassment or lust, you weren't really sure, maybe both of those feelings were at play in your head.  
After Cronus was fully dressed he walked over to you. His closeness made your heart skip a few beats, your stomach flip and your skin burn. This is what it must've felt like to be in love. "I hope I didn't scar you for life or anything." He said to you in his normal, gentle voice. You could never had imagined Cronus so… sexy before. His leather jacket hid his finely carved muscles and curves. He had decided not to put his jacket on for some reason, and left it in the floor.  
"N—Nah…" You tried to sound like you weren't flustered right now, but you didn't exactly sound convincing. He laughed a bit and picked you up, carrying you down the steps. You were going to protest at first, but you let yourself be swept off your feet. "I think it is safe for me to ask you to erase that picture from your head Kankri."  
"Nope." You had your arms crossed, and you pointed your nose to the sky. He stopped walking.  
"Why not?"  
"I don't wanna."  
He blinked, not because he had to blink, but because it was his only response to what you had to say, besides a leisurely 'alright'. He had started to walk again until you saw him yawn. You had read about the chemical that's released after you… get it off that made you feel sleepy, and there's no fighting that.  
Cronus had safely made his way down the steps with you in his arms. You could tell that his bad arm was weaker because at the end of your journey your head was lower than your knees. You stayed in Cronus's arms as he lowered himself onto the carpeted floor, yawning. "Sleepy…"  
You giggled a bit. He looked so different without his hair styled. You managed to squirm out his grasp and drag him to your bed downstairs. He stumbled along behind you and completely collapsed after you pushed him up into your bed so that he could rest. He was all cuddled up into your pillow, and at the moment he probably thought it was you. You would've left but he was holding your hand, and he had a solid grip. You decided not to try and gnaw your arm off like a trapped animal, and instead laid down beside him, replacing the pillow with you.  
You made a promise to yourself, right then and there, that one day you would get a slice of that fine body, oh just you wait. One day, that booty will be yours. 


	9. Lemonade

Cronus== Play it cool.

You had to act like you weren't embarrassed, but you were. Kankri had seen you naked, and you weren't _just_ naked either. You were so sleepy afterwards, and don't remember much after you carried Kankri down the stairs. You woke up with him in your arms, the sun hitting his face perfectly. You wondered how he ended up all snuggled into your grasp, but you wouldn't want it any other way. The two of you still weren't officially dating, but that was okay. Sometimes you had to take life slow.

At least, that is what you were planning on until last night. That was something you never expected to happen, but it did, so there was no reason regretting any of it. No matter how much you wished to take it back, you couldn't. You were okay with it, and you found yourself laughing over Kankri's flustered face.

You squinted your eyes as you looked out the window, the bright light blurring out the rest of the world beyond its golden rays. After allowing your eyes to adjust, you let your gaze once again trail over to the window, being relieved when you found that this time you could see outside past the bright waves that coated the earth for roughly 12 hours each day. You had a love/hate relationship with the sun. You loved its golden sea of light, yet hated the ever burning intensity of it. You hated the way it hid its beauty beyond the blinding light. You felt that it was the source of all fire, you felt as if it would be safe to say that it was a ball of unbearably raw life, and whenever a fire was started, a microscopic drop was drawn from its oceans of flame. You knew this wasn't true, but if it was, the world would be _that_ much better. Every time a fire was lit for warmth, or for food, you would be reminded of the essence of life. You would be reminded of life's forever burning passion.

You couldn't help but let your mind trail off into distant paths. You were a poet, and you always would be, and pondering over every possibility was how you thrived.

You should take Kankri out to that bar you always liked. You know, out for a date or something snazzy like that. In fact, you started to love the idea. You _carefully_ removed your arms from Kankri, and you felt like you were playing a game of Jenga. He would stir a bit in his sleep, and you would have to pause what you were doing. After a while of struggling you finally released your arms from his grasp.

You tiptoed upstairs, the floor creaking under your weight. You looked behind you down the staircase, almost expecting to see a sleepy eyed Kankri with messy hair looking confused and tired. You didn't, and decided that he was probably still asleep. You yawned, taking the chance at the top of the staircase to warm your body up for the rest of the day. Waking up was almost like turning a computer on, it always took you a few minutes to begin working and processing at 'your top speed'.

You and your metaphors. You shook your head at this, knowing that if anyone was in your mind right now, they'd probably be shaking their head at you, too.

You slowly made your way to the bathroom, the ache of the night making your body hurt, but thankfully this feeling wore off the more you moved around. You found yourself fumbling around to find the light switch that was _usually_ placed beside the doorway. You cussed mentally when you clicked the light on, you were still a bit sensitive to light, even if it wasn't as brilliant of that as the sun.

You looked into the mirror and frowned when you saw that you had forgotten about your hair when you got out the shower. That's okay, you suppose. Kankri hadn't seen your hair down before, but there's a first for everything right?

You rinsed your mouth out with mouthwash. You hadn't really planned on spending last night at Kankri's. You either had to go home today for some clothes, or you had to go home and stay home.

Sighing, you went back downstairs to see a sleepy Kankri standing at the bottom of the steps.

"Mornin' chief."

He groaned in response and started to walk upstairs, stopping midway to lay down and go back to sleep.

"Kanny, you can't sleep there."

He was already asleep. You huffed and went down the steps to where Kankri was, picking him up and slinging him over your shoulder. He woke up a bit at this and had enough strength to speak. Hopefully the sleepiness was wearing off.

"Morning Cronus…" You felt him nuzzle into your back, this caused you to blush horribly.

"Mornin'" You took him off your shoulder and carefully placed him on the sofa in the living room.

"Hey Kanny, you think that vwe could go on a date or somethin'?"

Kankri blushed lightly, his cheeks being dusted with a candy red blush. You watched him as he bit his lip, deep in thought.

"I don't see why not." You felt relieved as you watched him smile, and you weren't planning on him saying no.

"I gotta go back home, I didn't bring any clothes and vwhat not."

Kankri== Sleepy.

You were sleepy, probably sleepier than you would've liked to have been when Cronus asked you out on a date. He had left a few minutes ago to go back home. He didn't have any of his stuff here anyway, and you didn't mind being alone right now. You had to get ready as well, and you needed a shower.

Last night you noticed that Cronus liked to cuddle in his sleep, and you didn't mind that one bit. You actually found it cute and triggering at the same time.

There you go again with your triggers, and you didn't dare to remind yourself what happened yesterday. That was probably the biggest trigger of your life, but surprisingly you weren't as upset as you expected yourself to be. Maybe this new development was a good sign, yes?

You sighed, mentally preparing yourself to get up off the sofa and get ready for the date. You didn't know when it would be, but Cornus said he would text you the details, so you didn't worry.

 **Time skip – The Date**

You are still Kankri, and you were in the car with Cronus on the way to the date he asked you out on. He told you it was casual, and you could dress however you wanted to. You were wearing black skinny jeans and your bright red sweater. Of course you wore something underneath, otherwise your skin got irritated from the fabric.

Cronus was driving while jamming out to something he had on his phone, which was conveniently plugged into the car's audio system. To keep himself from being distracted, he would tell you what song he wanted to play next.

His taste in music was different from yours, but it wasn't bad. You appreciated all types of music, but you usually found yourself having a liking to classical music more than anything else.

After a few minutes of riding around with music blaring, the two of you had arrived at the dinner styled bar in town. You'd never been there before, so this was your first time seeing the inside. Before you never really had a reason to eat out, you loved cooking, and you were good at it too.

You were greeted by a waiter who was wearing a simple work outfit suitable for the job. The two of you were seated at a booth, which you preferred over chairs. Booths were comfy, and for some reason you _hated_ restaurant chairs, they were always so stiff and they made you sit up too straight.

The waiter returned with a notepad and a pen, "What would you like to drink?" Cronus was the one to speak first.

"I'd like to have sweet tea."

Ahh, the beverage of the south. The waitresses gaze went to you after she finished jotting down what he wanted to drink, as if she couldn't remember. Psh.

"Lemonade?" It was more of a question to see if they had any.

She nodded and walked back to the kitchen when you noticed that Cronus looked as if he was going to throw up.

"Kanny… Why'd you have to get lemonade?" He whined.

"What's wrong with lemonade?"

"You mean I never told you that story?" He seemed shocked, but his face lit up a bit.

"No, I don't recall any stories about you and lemonade."

"Well, when I was about 19, I had a cup of lemonade in my car. I couldn't recall how long it had been there, and I thought it had only sat there for a day. Of course I was wrong about that, and when I went to drink it…" He coughed a bit at the feeling of nausea. "Apparently it had been sitting in the sun for _days._ I took a sip of it, but I couldn't see that it had gone bad because it was in a closed lid with a straw. I took a sip, and I swear, that is the last time I will ever drink lemonade. It went so bad, that it actually _fermented_ into alcohol, and it was chunky and gross…. And the smell…" His body shivered. You couldn't believe what he was telling you.

 _*Authors note, this actually happened to me a few weeks ago. Always check what you drink kids!*_

"Cronus, I can't believe that you thought it would be okay to drink after all those days!"

He put a hand over his face, groaning. "A mistake is a mistake, chief."

Cronus== Feel disgusted.

That experience had forever ruined lemonade for you. After a while of feeling sick to your stomach, the feeling had started to ebb away, leaving only the feeling of hunger.

The waitress had come back with your drinks after your story was told, and you couldn't bear to watch Kankri drink his lemonade. He laughed at your reactions a few times, saying that you were over reacting.

The waitress had returned, "Are you ready to order?"

Your stomach growled at the thought of food, but you hope no one heard it. "I'd like a bacon cheeseburger with fries." That is what you always got when you came here.

"I'd like the chicken salad with ranch dressing."

"Okay!" She was overly happy, and you watched her scoop up your menus and walk off.

You looked at Kankri, "Salad."

"What did you eat some bad salad or something?"

"I dunno, just expected you to order something more…"

"Unhealthy?" He crossed his arms and smirked, as if to tell you that your eating habits were atrocious.

"I would tell you that what I got wasn't unhealthy, but it's a cheeseburger with bacon, so I don't think I'd win that argument."

Kankri just smiled softly and giggles under his breath, Gog was he cute. You couldn't blame yourself for having a crush on him for this long.

"Hey Kanny…?"

"Yes Cronus?" He was looking at you with those big innocent eyes of his.

"Porrim told me that you were celibate before…"

"Yes, I was. I made a vow, but I just couldn't keep it. I guess I'm in love with someone who is more important that my lifestyle."

You were silent, you had felt bad about changing the way Kankri lived. It felt wrong to you, and you didn't want him to be something he isn't. You wanted him happy with his life and the things he did, and you didn't want him to be held back because of you.

"Cronus?" You were snapped back to reality by the sound of his voice.

"Yeah?"

"I wasn't happy before, so please don't feel like you turned my world upside down."

"I… I don't think that."

" _Cronus_ ," his tone was challenging, and it was the kind of tone you used when someone was in trouble.

"Okay… So maybe I do feel that vway, but I can't help it. I just don't vwant to make you do things you don't vwanna' do." You knew your accent was faltering in your voice, imbedding itself in your words, but you didn't care.

"Cronus, no offense, but if I didn't want to be around you, I wouldn't be here eating lunch with you."

"None taken," was the only thing you could manage to say.

"Cronus."

"Yes Kanny?"

"Thank you for helping me change my ways. I don't think I would've been happy like that." He was stirring his drink with the straw he sipped from every so often.

"You know, I think I vwould've been okay being your friend if you chose not to give up your wvow for me, but now after being around you and loving you so much, I don't think I'd be able to do that." You smiled softly as blush crept across your cheeks.

Kankri raised an eyebrow, but he was blushing as well. "Loving me so much?"  
Oh Gog, you hadn't realized what you had said until after he repeated it, your mouth seemed to be moving faster than your mind, and that was never a good thing. You stopped yourself to think for a bit, to consider your feelings for Kankri.

"Yes, Kankri. I think I'm in lovwe vwith you…" Your voice trailed off as you buried your face in your arms, your head resting on the table. Oh Gog.

He giggled softly, and you felt his hand resting on your head, he ruffled your gelled hair, but he didn't mess it up. "I think I'm falling in love with you too, Cronus."

So far this date had gone better than you had planned, and by all means, you don't think it could've gone better.


	10. I'll Rememba'

Kankri== Go to a party?

On your way back from the date with Cronus, you felt your phone vibrate, and according to Gamzee, there would be a party at the Strider's residence. You knew that they threw the best parties of all time, but you had never been. You had always had an excuse as to why you wouldn't go. It was always something, excuses, excuses, excuses.

You thought for a moment as you watched Cronus tap his hands against the wheel as he lip synced along to a song on the radio. After smiling and giggling softly at him, you decided that you would go to the party, but _only_ if Cronus went with you.

 _-Alright Gamzee. I'll go to the party, but only if Cronus can come._

 _-That is a mother fucking miracle. Of course he can come. It's tonight at the usual place. Party starts at 8. See you there Kanny."_

 _-See you._

You had to tell Cronus what you just put him into, otherwise he would be very confused when he arrived at a party.

"Cronus."

"Yes Kan?" He turned the radio down so you didn't have to raise your voice.

"Uhm… Well, my friends often throw parties. I've never been to one because I felt like an outcast every time I went. I agreed to go if you went with me."

He smiled, and kept his eyes on the road like he always did, "of course I'll go."

"Thanks Cronus," you were quiet for a moment and he nodded in response, "Hey Cronus, have you ever drank before?"

"Of course I have, chief. I've done a lot of things, some of them are things I'm not proud of."

"Like what?"

He was silent for a moment, as if he was carefully choosing what words he should use.

"Cocaine, heroin, crystal meth. I was a mess. After I left your middle school I started drinking and that led to me doing drugs," he sighed, and you could tell that talking about this brought back bad memories, "I kicked the habit before I met you again. I actually attempted suicide, but as you can probably figure out, I failed at that."

You must've triggered Cronus terribly, and in turn that made you feel even worse.

"Cronus I'm sorry if I trigg—"

"It's not your fault. I just thought you needed to know about my past, especially about the bad things."

Cronus had drove back to his house, and you cheered up a bit at this. His house smelt like him, like warm sand and salt water. It made you feel relaxed, so relaxed in fact, that it made you feel sleepy.

"I hope you don't mind if we hang out here until the party. If you have to though, I can take you back to your house." Cronus turned his car off, the night feeling isolated as the purring of the car ceased. The absence of this sound made the atmosphere feel empty, and you didn't quite like this feeling. You quickly hopped out the car, taking Cronus's hand, allowing him to lead you up to the front door.

"Since we are sharing secrets, I should tell you something Cronus, it's only fair."

"Shoot for it, Kanny."

"I'm neutrois."

"Kanny I'm not smart like you. Define neutrois."

"Neutrois; having a null or neutral gender, being neither male nor female, and having or seeking to have no or reduced signs of physical sex. This term is not used very often, therefore not many people know what it means. It is similar to being genderqueer."

Cronus opened the door, and you were hit with a wave of Cronus's signature smell.

"Would you like me to change the pronouns I use for you?" He raised an eyebrow.

"If you want, I honestly don't really mind. I just don't like to associate with any gender personally. I think I am more masculine neutrois than anything. For example, I don't mind being called male pronouns, but I do not identify _myself_ as having a gender."

"You are a confusing troll, Kanny. You should've told me before, I don't mind what gender you are, or aren't." He smiled and ruffled your hair, bending down a bit to kiss your forehead.

"I don't even know if there is a gender identity for that," you mumbled softly, crossing your arms as you blushed.

"Of course there is Kankri, you just have to do some research. There are plenty of gender identities to fit the way everyone feels." Cronus smiled at you and picked you up bridal-style, carrying you over to his black leather couch.

He sighed, sitting down as he held you in his lap. Cronus buried his face into your neck, which caused you to blush horribly.

"You okay Cronus?"

He didn't respond, instead he nuzzled his nose against your bare skin, pulling the neck of your sweater down a bit.

"Cronus?"

"Your vwarrm…" His voice was heavy with an accent, the pitch of it quivering as he spoke as if he was holding back tears.

"Please tell me what's wrong…"

"I just hate my fins and stuff, ya' knovw?"

You had almost forgotten that he had dysphoria over anything that made him feel inhuman.

"If it makes you feel better, I think you are just as human as any regular human that we see on this world." You ran your fingers through his hair, trying to help him feel better.

"You really think so…?" He looked up at you, taking his face out your neck.

"Yes Cronus." You smiled and kissed him softly, you wanted to help him feel better, you wanted him to know that you saw him as whatever he wanted to be in life.

"We should do something," you said after pulling away from his lips.

"Like vwhat…?" His voice sounded a bit sad, but you noticed that he looked better than he did a few seconds ago.

"Hmm… What about truth or dare?" You raised an eyebrow, letting him know that you were unsure if this was a good idea or not.

"Sure," he smiled, sitting up. He left you in his lap. "You go first. Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"That was an easy decision for you, huh?" He giggled softly and took a moment to think about what he would ask you.

"When you walked in on me… getting it off… were you unable to look away because you were in shock or because you liked what you saw?" He wiggled his eyebrows, and you felt your face get hot.

"I liked what I saw…" You deliberately said it under your breath, hoping that he couldn't hear you. Then again, you didn't really want to repeat something like that again, it was quite triggering to you.

He laughed softly. He had obvoisly heard you. "I won't forget that, chief."

"Alright. Truth or dare."

"Dare." He didn't even take a second to think about it.

"I dare you to dance to any song I choose."

"The vwhole song?" He was blushing a bit, a light purple spreading across his face.

"Yes."

"I guess I hawve too, huh?"

You nodded. Sighing, he went to retrieve his iPod that was hooked up to the surround sound system in the house. He reluctantly handed it over to you, and you went straight to youtube. You knew exactly which song you wanted to watch him dance to.

"Oh and one more thing Cronus, you have to dance like a stripper."

"Kanny this is so unlike you!" He was now blushing horribly, and he wasn't even attempting to hide it from you.

You smiled softly, "I have to learn how to live a little."

"Alright, if you wanna 'liwve on the edge, I'll be right back."

You crossed your arms, letting him know that you were unhappy with waiting. Thinking back on it, you would consider this situation extremely triggering. You didn't mind how much you changed. You only acted this way with Cronus, he was… different.

He came back wearing tight leather pants and black suspenders. You felt yourself blush terribly, and he crossed his arms, pouting.

"Alright, here is the song you have to dance to." You went to youtube and searched up 'Kehlani – Jelous ft. Lexii Alijai (no sleep remix) when the song started to play Cronus had obviously knew the song.

"Thank Gog. This is going to be great." He had already started to dance, and he rolled his stomach slowly, as if it took no effort. His hands were delicately placed onto his hips, and he was rolling that part of his body as well. You watched as his hands slowly went up the sides of his body, and he bent his knees, lowering himself halfway to the ground. This is when he bit his lip, and it was the most perfect lip-bite you had _ever_ seen. After he was done with his dance, he plopped down on the sofa panting. His skin was glistening with sweat, but he didn't smell bad, I fact, he just smelled like he always did; like the ocean and warm sand, maybe a bit of axe here and there.

You didn't like axe but you never told Cronus that because it smelled good on him for some reason. He was never one of those guys to use too much of it, he always used a touch here and there, and it was never overpowering.

"Truth… or… dare…" He was still panting a bit and you didn't blame him; dancing like that used a lot of muscles at once, and the hard part was controlling them so they did _just_ what you wanted them to.

"Dare." For the second time in your life, you picked dare, the other time was when you went camping with your friends and ended up getting pressured into picking dare.

"I dare you…" He took a breath. "To…" He smirked softly. "Say the most triggering thing you can."

You crossed your arms, you would do nothing of the such, not to Cronus.

"Kankri do you know what happens when you refuse a dare?" He looked horrified, and he bit his lip.

"W-what?" After a few minutes you became worried, and you wanted to know what would happen to you.

"I don't think I can say, Kanny." He waved it away, then continued by saying, "Oh vwell, it was fun vwhile it lasted."

"Tell me Cronus!" You were bouncing on the sofa, you wanted to know what would've happened.

He sighed, and reluctantly sat back down beside you. "I'm gonna warn you, it's very triggering."

You continued to look at him pleadingly, you really wanted, no, you _needed_ to know.

"You can choose between 10 punches from each player, or a chicken slap from each player. Since there is only you and me playing, I guess you're lucky."

"Chicken slap?"

"Yeah, I would stand with my legs spread and you would have to crawl between them, and I'd slap your butt. When it's played with a group of people it goes in a line and eventually starts to hurt at the end."

You were silent for a moment, unsure about what you should do with this new information.

"I choose the chicken slap… I don't want to be punched 10 times by you."

"I vwouldn't have punched you anyvway." His accent had been apparent for a while now, and you didn't know why. He didn't seem nervous or angry, not even sad. Maybe there was another emotion connected to his sudden accent changes.

Your phone buzzed and you realized that it was 8:10p.m. and you realized that the party started at one. It was Porrim.

 _-I thought you were coming Kanny._

 _-I am! Just got caught up in something is all. On my way now._

"Cronus I totally forgot that the party started at 8…" In response to this, he looked up at the clock to check the time.

"Alright, let's go then."

Your raised an eyebrow as he gathered up his keys and cellphone.

"You're going in that?" He was still wearing the outfit he had danced in.

"OH. I forgot I vwas even vwearing this." He laughed and rubbed his chin, he was deliberately letting you know that he was thinking.

"Vwell, do you want me to change?"

"N—Nah… It'll… Take too long…" He narrowed his eyes at you and winked after grabbing your hand and pulling you out the door.

"Mhmm." Was all he managed to say, and you could tell he saw through your words. Well, anybody would have, considering the way you said it.

 **Time skip – The Party.**

Cronus== Feel exposed in this outfit.

It had taken a lot of courage to do that in front of Kankri. You almost chickened out until you saw how badly he was blushing.

But now you were going to a party in an outfit you almost forgot you owned. _Why did I even get that?_ The answer had slipped your mind, and you guessed it wasn't that important anyway.

The two of you had been at the party for a while now, and you managed to find some whiskey no one had opened yet. Kankri hadn't noticed you drinking, in fact, you didn't even think that he noticed you were gone.

You were sitting in a room all by yourself with a bottle of the best damn whiskey you had ever had, and that was a lot of whiskey. You didn't bother pouring it into a cup, you liked it better when it came straight from the bottle. You loved the way it burned your throat and numbed painful memories. You were a calm drunk, you didn't lose your common sense, and you didn't act like a lunatic.

After about half an hour of lying there, letting the liquid fire burn in your stomach, Kankri found you, and he didn't seem very happy.

"Cronus, I've been looking everywhere for you where did you—"He stopped when he saw the bottle in your hand. "Did you just relapse after being alcohol free for a long time…?" It was a question, but the way he said it made it sound more like a statement.

"Yeah…" You had your head back against the sofa cushion, and you were looking at the ceiling.

"Cronus…" Kankri sat down beside you, and he sounded sad. He buried his face into your chest, which caused you to lift your head up and look down at him. He was crying.

"Hey… No… Don't cry—"You hiccupped, and decided to try and hold your breath. It helped, but you realized you didn't need to talk anymore. Instead you just put your arm around Kankri and held him close.

"Cronus I don't want you ruining your life…" His voice was shaky as tears rolled down his cheeks.

"Kankri…" You sat up straighter and made him look at you, "I vwon't… because I have you in my life, and I promise I vwon't let you dovwn. I promise I vwon't let myself vwaste avway vwhen all you'wve done is savwe me… I know I'm drunk right novw, but I'll remember saying all of this to you. Especially this; Kankri, I lowve you." You looked into his eyes, and your head was swirling. You could feel everything ten times more than you would have at that very moment. You felt your heart beating against your head, and you remembered every breath you took. Kankri didn't say anything yet, and you took this moment to dry the candy red tears off his cheeks with your thumb.

"I love you too Cronus… I just wish you weren't drunk right now."

"Kankri, I knowv vwhat I'm sayin'"

"Promise..." It wasn't a question, in fact, he was demanding it.

"I promise. I promise I'll remember this wvery moment. I'll rememba' the vway you cried, an' the vway your voice shook vwhen you talked. I'll rememba' feeling like my throat was on fire an' my stomach vwas doing flips. I'll rememba' how hard my heart was beating. I'll rememba' it all, Kanny." Your accent was the thickest it has ever been in a long time.

You weren't letting Kankri go, not ever.

 **Don't worry, the story isn't over yet. I promise that they still have a lot of things to do ewe**


	11. Pancakes and a Brother

Kankri== Take Cronus home.

Cronus was in no state to be driving, and as much as you hated driving, you knew you had to take him home. Thankfully, he wasn't that much different when he was drunk, and he actually seemed to be more relaxed. He told you that you could use his car, which wasn't that helpful considering you were going to do that anyway, no matter how triggering it could've been.

After a few minutes of stressful driving and bad anxiety, you had successfully made your way back to Cronus's house.

After making sure he had made his way to his bedroom, you sighed softly. You were relieved to be alone, because you had to think about what Cronus said. Which might not even be valid considering he was as drunk as a person can possibly be without dying or passing out. Somehow, he managed to keep his speech unslurred, but you had never heard his accent so strong before.

You knew he would be cranky when he woke up, for he would have a hella bad hangover. Nobody drinks that much whiskey and makes it through to the next morning unscaved. After a few minutes of deep thinking, you found yourself falling asleep on the couch. You didn't mind this, and allowed yourself to do so, considering it was one in the morning.

 **Timeskip – Morning**

You were woken up the next morning with Cronus snuggled into your side, and you wondered how both of you had managed to fit on the leather sofa. You didn't remember Cronus coming to sleep with you in the middle of the night, but you were usually a heavy sleeper. He was still asleep, and you couldn't blame him, part of you wished he would stay asleep all day, for he would not be happy upon waking up. You just sat there and stared at the ceiling, stealing a few glances of him as he slept with his face resting on your chest. Even if you wanted to move, or get up, you couldn't, for his arms and legs were intertwined with yours. _How in the hell did he manage to commit such hardcore snuggling without waking me up?_ That question would go forever unanswered, but you honestly didn't care for once. Sure, it was a bit triggering waking up to your hungover crush all up on you, but part of you was happy that this situation had found its way into your life.

Cronus was cute when he slept, and you had never seen his face that peaceful before, and you wondered if he was having one of those deep sleeps with no dreams.

That type of sleep was always nice, and you never woke up confused as you tried to remember the broken dream you'd had.

After about half an hour of lying there, or at least that's what it felt like, Cronus started to stir.

He let out a soft groan and raised a hand to massage his right temple. You could practically feel the headache he was having right now.

"Fuuuck." He yawned, but still hadn't opened his eyes yet.

Surprisingly, he snuggled back into you, pouting a bit, "Kanny please don't move you're really warm."

Apparently he had remembered coming to you in the middle of the night and engulfing your tiny body in his arms, which led you to wonder about what else he remembered.

"Okay," your answer was simple, but it was enough to reassure him that he could go back to sleep. In all honesty, you didn't really want to be stuck here with nothing to do much longer. It wasn't that you minded being this close to Cronus, it was that you were starting to get bored out of your mind, and you weren't quite comfortable to let your thoughts drift off, for you found yourself thinking about Cronus more and more, it was almost like he was a fire in your mind. He engulfed your brain with himself without even knowing it while he ran wild. He was the good type of fire though, the type that is innocent and necessary. He was not the type of fire that demanded destruction to feed his hunger.

He was a calm fire, the type or fire that respected the boundary of rocks around its burning flames, the type that cooked your food and kept you warm when you went camping.

You took your phone out and tried to distract yourself from the boredom that made your mind ache, and time seem to slow down, making every second seem like a minute, and every minute seem like an hour. You spent the next hour on Tumblr, ranting about things that triggered you as well as equality and social justice.

Cronus had started to stir again, but he seemed to be in less pain, or he was just covering it up.

Eventually after a few groans of protest, he sat up, untangling his legs from yours and forcing himself to stand up. At first you had thought that he was going to fall, for when he managed to make himself stand on two feet, he swayed a bit as if he were a tower too tall for its own good. He managed to regain his balance and walked into the kitchen, dragging his feet and causing a soft scuffing sound to pollute the air.

"Hey Kanny," his voice was raw and deep from sleepiness.

"Yes?" You stood up and followed him into where he was into the kitchen, finding him in a flamboyant cooking apron. You wrinkled your forehead in confusion, for you had expected him to be more grumpy and all over the place with his hangover. You could tell he was in pain from the weak expression on his face, but otherwise he seemed normal.

"What do you want to eat?"

You stared at him a bit, not knowing how to respond to this, for you were honestly surprised by how normal he was able to act.

He must've put two and two together, for he answered your question that you never asked, "I still have hangovers, I just got used to em' all those times I passed out in the living room and woke up the next day a cranky mess. Just tell me what you want to eat, and I'll fix it for ya'"

You sat down at the dining room table that was conveniently located in the kitchen instead of in a separate room. "I am perfectly capable of making my own breakfast." You crossed your arms softly, feeling a bit irritated for reasons you weren't quite sure of.

"Kankri. I'm making breakfast, now tell me what you want." He was just as equally sassy as you were to him.

"Pancakes." You just said something so he would stop asking you.

"I'll make you pancakes but if you don't eat them there will be consequences." He waved a spatula at you and turned the stove on, starting to make the batter as the stovetop heated up.

After a few minutes of super-fine cooking and ten super-awesome pancakes later, you and Cronus had finished breakfast. He hadn't eaten much, probably from the hangover, but you however, ate as many as you could. His pancakes were the best thing you've ever tasted.

He put an unlit cigarette in his mouth and leaned back in his chair, dark circles under his eyes ass he looked at the ceiling.

"You know Kanny, I do remember, I told you I would."

You pouted a bit, still being in a pissy mood. "Remember what…"

He sighed, realizing that he'd have to say it, and sat up reluctantly to face you. "What I said while I was drunk, I remember, I remember every word and I meant it, too. That's what."

You didn't really know what to say, but your gaze softened and he smiled at you, which made you realize how much of a little piss-ant you were being. You often had the tendency to do that.

"You know what Kanny?" He didn't give you any time to respond, apparently he was going to tell you anyway. "I think you are the cutest little shit I've ever met. No wonder I had a crush on you for so long."

You blushed a bit and quickly pulled the neck of your sweater over your mouth and nose in attempt to hide your flusterment.

"No, chief, you can't do that." He leaned over the table and gently pulled the protective shell of your sweater off your face, revealing a bright candy red blush. For a few seconds he just looked into your eyes, which made your blush grow deeper with every passing minute. You wanted to look away, for your face was now uncomfortably hot. He leaned in closer to your face and your lips collided. It was a slow, passionate kiss. At first you didn't kiss back, but now the both of you were full on making out. Cronus pulled away and smirked softly, leaning back in his chair, leaving you to be a flustered mess.

"I— You—"

"I love you too, Kanny."

That was actually what you were going to say, and you felt a bit bad for not being able to say it. Cronus's phone went off, and it had been left on the dining room table where you left it the night before. He picked it up and froze, just staring at the screen.

"What's wrong?"

He cleared his throat a bit, "You know that call I got a while ago?"

"Yes…?" You wondered what was happening, and got up to peer over his shoulder at what he could be looking at.

"Well, apparently it was my brother, and he claims he was 'just joking' and got worried when he heard that I was real messed up from one of his friends."

You couldn't tell whether he was angry, frustrated, or just plain upset.

"Who was it that told him?"

"I'll ask." You watched as he quickly texted his brother back, and you noticed the number wasn't saved, from this you concluded he probably didn't have a _great_ relationship with his brother.

His phone buzzed, and you couldn't see what it said before Cronus locked his phone and looked up at you, he didn't seem upset, but he looked like he just solved a puzzle.

"Karkat."

"What about him?"

"It was Karkat."

You stood up straight and thought for a moment. All those times Karkat was up in his room skyping someone, or blushing and laughing on the phone, you thought it was safe to assume that they might be dating.

"That explains a lot to be honest."

His phone buzzed again and he unlocked it, checking the message. He frowned, and started to look very frustrated.

"He wants me to visit him."

You crossed your arms and looked down at him, for you were sitting, and he was still standing. "You should probably go."

"I think your right, chief. _We_ should go." He put emphasis on the 'we' and grinned a bit.

"Oh, no no no no." You waved your arms a bit, letting him know how much you didn't want to be dragged into this.

"Oh, yes yes yes yes."

You started to whine, "Cronus, please…"

He stood up and pulled you into his hips. "Kankri, please…" He whined back, and you found this position very triggering. Blush quickly spread across your face, but you didn't push him away. He smiled and let you go, picking up both your plates and going over to then sink to wash them, "thanks babe."

You snorted, being displeased with how easily you gave in.

"When does he want you to visit?" You crossed your arms, still standing in the same spot you were before.

"Today." He shrugged a bit and continued washing dishes, and it dawned on you that he was still shirtless and wearing a flamboyant apron. Maybe that's why you were so easily persuaded.

"Today?!" You didn't expect that, in fact, you hadn't really expected any of this.

"Yep, and were going. Go get ready." He rinsed the soap off your plates and placed them on the drying rack before turning around and crossing his arms.

"Fine…" You turned around and walked to the direction of his shower, not caring if you had any clean clothes.

This day was going to go by very slow, and you were worried about what might happen between now and tonight.


	12. I Don't Need a Beach

Cronus== Go to your brother's and regret everything.

You and your brother Eridan didn't have the best relationship. It's not that you hated each other, he just never cared. When he saw you crying, when he saw you in pain, sometimes he'd laugh and tell you to, 'suck it up.'

In fact, it was hard to just 'suck it up' as he said. It was hard to do that when your whole world was falling apart and you were losing pieces of you every day. It was like you were a jigsaw puzzle, and the only person that would put you back together was someone who saw the picture you were supposed to be. Right now, that only person to you was Kankri.

°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸,ø¤°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸

You knocked on the door of your brother's house. You knew this wouldn't be fun, and it had the potential to go very wrong.

"The door's unlocked." You were sure that was Eridan, but you hadn't heard his voice in years, yet it felt like a century, which you were fine with.

You reluctantly opened the door, being careful not to look at the house too much, for fear that you'd remember this moment for longer than you wanted to. During all the fuzz that was in your head at the moment, you had begun holding Kankri's hand. You hadn't noticed yet, as Kankri decided not to protest, despite how _triggering_ it was.

You made your way into the living room, which unlike most houses was near the back of the house. You froze when you saw Eridan, for he had changed drastically since you last saw him. In fact, you probably looked very different as well, for you moved out the house all by yourself at 15. No one really seemed to care, but you did, which is why you left. You were truly the only person in that family; no, the world at that time that actually cared about yourself.

There was nothing anybody could do to salvage this relationship between you and Eridan.

"W-Why hello brother!" His w's skipped as always, and he still couldn't control it.

You narrowed your eyes, unconsciously gripping Kankri's hand, which made him emit a tiny squeak of discomfort. Looking down at him, you realized that you were holding his hand. This didn't faze you, for the situation at hand made you too frustrated to think.

"Vwhat do you vwant?" Damn, and there you went, your voice once again giving away the fact that you were upset.

"I just w-wanted to see my brother again, is that so bad?"

"Yes." Your opinion was not going to budge, there was no way in hell you would start looking at him as your brother again.

"ERIDAN, WHO IS THAT?" There was a grumpy voice coming from the kitchen, and you realized who it was after recalling the events leading to your presence here.

Kankri did not look very happy, but he didn't look upset either. You just wanted to get the hell out of here. Why did you even come? What was the point of coming? It was hopeless to let these questions float around in your head, for they would probably go unanswered.

Kankri let go of your hand while he spoke. "Karkat!"

"HOLY SHIT ERIDAN WHAT IS GOING ON?!" Before your brother could speak, the other pair seemed to be more excited to see each other, and you noticed Karkat piecing everything together as he walked into the living room.

"OH. MY. GOG."

"Karkat, this is my brother, and your brother, I assume."

"NO, HE'S ACTUALLY MY OLDER COUSIN BUT PRACTICALLY MY BROTHER."

Kankri wasn't as unhappy as you were, for he hugged Karkat and patted him on the back. "Hey Karkat, I haven't seen you in a while!"

You refused to look at your younger brother, it brought back way too many memories. He hugged you, maybe to piss you off, or maybe to ask for forgiveness. Either way, they both made you unhappy. You let him continue, but it was only because you didn't want to make a scene in front of Kankri. That was the reason why you'd brought him here, he was your anchor. Without him you roamed the seas of life aimlessly, and you couldn't stop once to ponder at its beauty.

You kept your cool, ignoring the burning fire that wanted to erupt from your heart. It seemed to seer your tongue, and you were sure that if you spoke without moderation, your words would be sharp enough to do damage.

That is what it is like without an anchor, some people are lucky enough to have ones, others do possess them, and very few have one, but never seem to value it.

Eridan let go of you, then looked over at Kankri and Karkat who were having their own conversation. "W-What are the odds?"

"I don't fucking know." You said through clenched teeth. It's not that you were mad, but rather disappointed and hurt by the memories of him.

Eridan looked hurt. He honestly didn't deserve your pissy attitude, he couldn't change what happened in the past, but you didn't deserve a shitty childhood.

"Sorry, I just—"

"Nah, I'm actually sorry. I should've cared more for you. I'm not that much younger, so it's not like I didn't know w-what w-was w-wrong."

"Then vwhat vwas your reason?"

"I just didn't know-w how-w to help."

There was a silence between the two of you until you spoke, "I forgive you. I have to, I'm not doing it for myself, and I'm doing it for you. I'm forgiving you so you can sleep at night vwithout vworrying about vwhat you _could've_ done, vwhen you didn't try to do shit in the first place."

All three of them were looking at you as if you had just done the worst thing imaginable. In that moment, it probably was the second, maybe even third worst thing after killing him or almost killing him.

You left the house to go sit in the car to cool off. You needed to be away, you needed to be alone with your thoughts.

You decided that you weren't going back after violet tears started to stream your face. You didn't want to cry, you wished you had the power to make them stop, but you couldn't. You had to face the fact that sometimes it was better to let it out, than to keep everything locked away. It was almost like a bird in a cage, if it was never let it out, it did not know the value of its own life. If you spent your life trapped in a cage that was all you knew, but once you had the taste of freedom the life you once had would no longer seem possible.

That is why you should let your emotions out, instead of holding them in. Give yourself that freedom to be out of your own cage for a while.

So you cried. You weren't sobbing, but tears were streaming your face none the less. You knew that after you'd begun, there was no hiding the fact that you had been crying, for your tears would stain your cheeks purple like always.

 _Damn it._

Kankri was making his way out the house, waving his goodbyes to Eridan and Karkat as he strode down the pathway. Eridan's house was pretty nice, but that didn't make you like him more.

 _Alright stop crying Cronus, pull your broken self together again._

Kankri looked concerned, maybe even mad. You had a bad feeling about the look that clouded over his face. Alright, so you managed to stop crying. That was good, right? Shit, you forgot about the stains, maybe he wouldn't know what they were from. You could play it off, yes? You didn't see why not.

Kankri got in the car, "Cronus you should've given your brother a chance, what you did was very triggering to everyone els—"you guessed that he noticed the lines that went from your eyes to your chin.

You forced a smile, it was all you had the strength to do right now.

"You were crying…" It wasn't a question, he knew. You might be able to get away with it.

"Nah, I wasn't chief."

"Your cheeks are stained purple."

"Kankri you must be seeing things because—"

He kissed your cheeks, both of them in fact. "Don't lie to me when I can clearly see the truth."

You had an unlit cigarette in your mouth, and you bit down on it, you weren't sure why. It might've been an attempt to quell the tears that were forming in your eyes again. You were happy that someone cared, and this made you relieved. So relieved that you felt the need to cry, to let it out more. You didn't want to have a breakdown here in front of Kankri, not yet.

You turned on the car, and lucky for you _Leave Out All The Rest_ was playing. _Shit._ There were just too many emotions laced into the lyrics. You used to play that song on the piano. It was the only song you knew how to play when you were young. Nobody ever tried to teach you, so you had to learn for yourself. You loved that song to death, and you still do. You only played it when you were extremely upset or sad. On days when you felt lost in the abyss of the world, you let yourself become immersed in its beauty. You loved the sound the notes made when they were strung together. You could play many instruments, for it was how you vented out feelings, but the piano was your favorite.

You had started to cry again. You didn't want to, but the lyrics were so painfully you. They wer such a painful memory of the times you wanted to kill yourself, but you wanted to make a difference, you wanted to be missed. It was selfish, you knew that. Today you still thought about it now and then, but whenever you saw Kankri most of that just… vanished.

 _"…When my time comes_

 _Forget the wrong that I've done_

 _Help me leave behind some_

 _Reasons to be missed_

 _And don't resent me_

 _And when you're feeling empty_

 _Keep me in your memory_

 _Leave out all the rest_

 _Leave out all the rest…"_

Those were the lyrics that really hit home. You put your hands over your face in attempt to hide from Kankri.

"Cronus…"

"This was the only song I knew how to play when I was younger… I always… I just—"

"It's alright, let's get home. I can't stand to see you like this…"

"Alright." You put the car in drive and made your way back to your house. You felt relived when you pulled into the driveway. You could go to the beach now without feeling paranoid, and you wanted to go now.

Kankri grabbed your wrist, "Cronus?"

"Yes chief?" You hadn't expected that.

He didn't respond, all he did was pull you into a kiss. It wasn't a sloppy kiss, and it wasn't exactly passionate either. It felt caring, it felt like he was taking some of your pain away. Oh Gog, you don't know what the hell you'd do without him.

Eventually the kiss escalated and you quickly pulled away, getting out the driver seat and over to the other side, pulling Kankri out and carrying him bridal style.

You carried him into the house and to your bedroom. You weren't sure what you were going to do, but you had an excuse. _Kankri started it, damn it!_ He looked horribly flustered, and was looking at you with innocent yet pleading eyes. He hadn't gotten so worked up over a kiss before, and the two of you had kissed a lot since you first met. Kankri was on the edge of the bed, laying on his back while you stood up with his legs around your waist. You leaned down and continued the kiss that was so abruptly interrupted. You bit his bottom lip, which earned a squeak from him.

Now, knowing how Kankri was before, he would usually be lecturing you at how triggering this was, but he wasn't. It was on rare occasions that he gave you antagonizingly long lectures which usually happened when things got heated like this.

For once in his life Kankri had kept his mouth shut. Well, not literally, but you know what I mean.

 _Hot damn_ this was the farthest you'd ever gotten with him, and he didn't seem to be wanting you to stop, and so you didn't.

You let your tongue explore the smaller troll's mouth, and he started to squirm underneath you. Not in the bad way, but in the way that screamed _'I'm flustered as fuck.'_

You didn't stop kissing him, you just couldn't, and Kankri didn't seem to mind that for once.

Eventually you pulled away from him and looked into his eyes.

"Hey Kann?"

"Yes, Cronus?" He was blushing just as horribly as you were.

"I love you." It was such a strong, yet simple pair of words that either struck fear or joy into hearts all around the world.

"I love you too." He kissed your lips one last time, biting your bottom one when he pulled away.

"Ya' love me enough to fill a pail with me?" You smirked a bit.

His blush only got worse, which would've been expected from anyone.

"Fuck triggers, or course I do," and he went right back to kissing you.

Going to that comic book store was probably the best decision you ever made. Besides, who would've thought manga could help you lose your virginity?

You sure as hell would've never guessed it, but the flustered troll beneath you that was kissing at your neck said otherwise.

You loved him so Gog damn much.

 **Time skip – Three years – Kankri's Birthday**

Kankri== THIS ISN'T HAPPENING.

Today was your birthday. You were getting old, and so was Cronus. Well, not exactly old as in 30's or 40's old, but old as in _'I can't get away with doing childish things anymore.'_ As much as you hated to kiss that goodbye, it was your 26th birthday and something was up.

Cronus was acting weirder than normal, and over the past three years you moved in with him. His house was nice, and you didn't really miss your tiny hive. Of course, your friends didn't dare let you talk them out of a party. No matter how much you begged and pleaded _'Please do not plan a party for me.'_ They did it anyway, which left you wondering how many more birthdays that would go on.

"Alright Kankri, were almost there." As always, they never let you choose where your party was. This year's was different, because you and Cronus had been driving down a dirt road for a while now. It almost looked like the two of you were heading to the beach. That was kinda Cronus's thing right?

"Okay," you sighed in response.

The only thing you got back from Cronus was a weak smile, which was somewhat odd for him. Something was definitely up.

The two if you pulled up near a beach, which was what you predicted. Cronus took your hand and swung your arms together as you walked. You could see all your friends on the beach. They were in bathing suits. It was pretty hot outside and a suitable day for the beach. Cronus did tell you to wear clothes you deemed appropriate for swimming, and so you did, underneath your clothes that is.

There were no presents or anything, only a cooler that Eridan and Karkat sat on, everyone else was kinda standing there expectantly. Cronus let go of your hand when you reached the middle of the sand.

"Hey Kankri?" He smiled a bit.

"Yes?" You looked at him confused. This didn't really look like a party to you.

He got down on one knee and it took you a few seconds to realize what was happening.

"I know people are supposed to get gifts on their birthday… and I hope you don't mind this, but I want to give you my heart. I want you to last as long as your forever lasts, and I want you to stay by my side for as long as you live. I know I'll live longer than you, but that doesn't matter to me. I won't let time take the love of my life away from me. Throughout the time I've known you, you made me happier than I've ever been. You light up my days, and you took place of the ocean, the beach. You replaced the only thing I went to for comfort, and I no longer have to come to a place like this to be happy. So Kankri Vantas, will you marry me?" He opened a small black box that held an 18k white gold ring. It was beautiful, yet simple in stlye.

You were crying tears of joy that increased the more he talked. "Yes, Cronus, I will." He took your hand and slowly slid the ring on your ring finger. It fit perfectly, which amazed you because he never once asked for your ring size. You'd never seen Cronus this happy as he kissed your hand before standing up and hugging you. All of your friends were clapping and cheering, and a few were tearing up.

That was the beginning of the happiest days of your life, and you couldn't have asked to share it with anyone else.

 **The End.**


End file.
